Scars
by forensicsfan
Summary: COMPLETE. Another postep to Grave Danger. Just when Nick thinks things are looking up, the bottom falls out again and his friends are there to catch him. will be NS
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I don't profit from them. However, if I ever had the opportunity, I'd love to have coffee with George and Jorja...ok, and watching an episode get filmed would be pretty cool too.

**Author's Note:** This is a sort of post-ep to Grave Danger and is a work in progress...so be patient...I just got online service at home again and I'm trying to find things in boxes...unpacking after moving is no fun.

* * *

She was a welcome site in the middle of a long shift. As Nick walked back into the lab and noticed his girlfriend Amy standing in the reception area a smile immediately stole across his face. He glanced over at his partner for the night and quirked an eyebrow. "Meet you in the layout room in a few minutes, Sar?" 

Sara's flashed him a knowing smile. "Take your time." She knew how much Nick liked Amy and she wouldn't begrudge him a few minutes alone with the woman who had helped keep Nick afloat after his ordeal of being buried alive a month ago. She had gotten to know Amy a little bit, and though she hadn't really liked her at first, the fact that the petite blond hadn't abandoned Nick in his darkest hour had impressed her enough to like her because Nick did.

Nick smiled as he approached Amy. "You're out late." It was just an observation, and he couldn't help but show how pleased he was to see her as he leaned in to softly kiss her.

Amy's smile seemed a bit forced as she took a step back and looked at Nick. "Hey."

"You ok?" Concern flashed across his face as he realized that it must be pretty important if she was coming to see him at work.

She nodded although her expression wasn't all that convincing. "Do you think we could go outside for a minute?"

"Uh, sure." Nick nodded and then reached for Amy's hand, giving it a squeeze. He hoped that what ever was bothering her wasn't too serious, they had been seeing each other for two months and he had been pleasantly surprised that she hadn't bolted after his ordeal. The least he could do after all she'd done for him was listen to whatever was on her mind.

As they stepped outside, Amy pulled her hand out of Nicks and looked at him; her eyes wide. "Uh, this is really hard for me to say."

"Whatever it is you can tell me, babe." Nick's brow was furrowed and he reached out and touched her face tenderly.

Amy let out a frustrated sigh and seemed to be trying to hold her chin steady as she tried to stifle a sniffle. "It's just that I...I'm just not sure..."

Nick pulled her into his embrace and held onto her. "Hey, Aim, whatever it is you can tell me." He wondered what it was that had upset her.

Amy pulled away and steeled herself, her voice catching a little as she forced the words out. "I can't do this."

Nick looked a little confused at her body language. "Can't do what?" He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"This. Us." She let out a bitter laugh in an effort to keep from crying because of an overwhelming sense of guilt as she gestured between them.

"What?" Nick looked shocked and then hurt spread across his face as he realized what was happening.

"Nick, I'm sorry, but I just can't see you any more." Tears were slipping down her face. "I know you think I'm so strong, but I just can't handle it any more." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"You're breaking up with me." Nick needed to hear himself say the words out loud so that he knew he wasn't having some horrible dream; that it was just another part of the horrible reality he'd been living for the last month. Once his parents had gone back to Texas, Amy and his friends at work had been the entire bright spot in his life since his ordeal.

"I'm sorry, Nick." Amy looked pained. She decided that she just needed to be honest with him and lay it all out on the table so that he didn't carry on some false hope that they might get back together someday. "I've been thinking about this for a while...since before actually..." Her words trailed off as she watched his face.

Nick looked as if he'd been slapped in the face. "So you stayed with me because you felt sorry for me." He was on the verge of tears himself.

Amy shook her head. "It's not like that...I care about you, I do...I just..." She realized that there was really nothing that she could say to make him understand that she wasn't ready to settle down and be the woman that he was looking for deep down.

"No." Nick blinked back tears. "Don't say anymore. You should go...I have to get back to work." He turned and headed back into the lab, only somewhat surprised that she didn't call out after him. He stopped by the men's room to compose himself and splash some water on his face before he went looking for Sara in the layout rooms.

Sara didn't even glance up as she heard Nick walk in and there was teasing in her tone. "I half expected to see you disappear for the rest of shift." When he didn't say anything, she glanced up and then noticed the somber expression on his face. "Nick?"

Nick hoped that they could just focus on the case and he pulled on a pair of latex gloves as he studied the carefully sorted piles Sara had started to make from the bag of trash they'd found in the kitchen of their victim; he hadn't really heard her say his name.

"Nick." Sara's voice was insistent.

Nick glanced up, noting the concern on Sara's face and feeling a wave of emotion welling up. "Yeah?" He hoped that his voice sounded steadier to her than it felt to him.

"Are you ok?" Sara knew that something had happened. "What's wrong?"

Nick knew Sara well enough to know that she could read him like a book, so he just cut to the chase. "She broke up with me." He cursed inwardly as he felt tears threatening again.

"Oh, Nick." Sara was both hurt and angry for her friend. He'd been through hell and the last thing that he needed was one more thing to crush him.

"She said she couldn't handle it anymore; that she'd been thinking about it even before..." Nick sniffled, feeling a bit ashamed that he was falling apart in front of Sara. But then again, she was a good friend, and she'd proven to be an even better friend after his ordeal. "I really thought she was the one, Sar."

A few choice words flitted through Sara's mind, but she bit them back as she stood up from her chair forgetting the evidence at the layout table as she stepped towards him and pulled him into a comforting hug. "She's a fool, Nick."


	2. Chapter 2

Nick felt weak. He needed Amy, he craved Amy and yet, she didn't want him, hadn't wanted him for some time it seemed and it hurt. He was thankful that he was working with Sara and that she wouldn't press him for more details or handle him with kid gloves the way that Catherine might. Her understanding hug had been what he'd needed at that moment, but shift was over now and he was alone. The last thing he wanted was to be alone, but he'd turned down an invitation to join Greg, Sophia and Sara at the diner for breakfast. He'd begged off, claiming that he was tired. The truth was that he wanted to talk to Amy, wanted to find out why she'd stuck around after his ordeal when it was clear now that she hadn't wanted to be with him at all. He'd cut her off in the parking lot before she'd had a chance to finish and now he just wanted one more chance to see her, one more chance to convince her that they could work.

He eased his Denali up in front of her house, pushing his sunglasses up onto the top of his head. As he was about to turn off the ignition, he stopped as he realized that while Amy was home, she certainly wasn't home alone. Hurt shot through him like a knife; he knew the car that was parked in her driveway; he knew it well. And as he sat there for a long moment blinking away tears and choking back a sob all of the pieces slid together clearly. An old friend that he'd introduced to Amy shortly after they'd started seeing each other had mentioned more than once that if she ever got tired of Nick, his door was always open. Now it seemed she'd taken John up on that offer.

Nick turned the ignition on and pulled away from the curb. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he didn't want to go home, he didn't want to be reminded of the time he and Amy had spent together there. He didn't want to think about how she'd comforted him as he woke screaming from his nightmares. He knew it couldn't have been easy for her, but he'd never asked her to stay; she'd done it because she wanted to. Or at least that's what he thought.

He let himself get lost in thought as he drove and it wasn't until he was driving across Hoover Dam that he realized he really wasn't sure where he was going. He pulled the SUV over at an observation area and got out, glad that at this hour of the morning that there weren't too many people around. He climbed up on the hood and just stared out into Black Canyon with Lake Mead at his back. He had a brief thought that 726 feet was a long way down to the bottom of the canyon, but shook it off. She might have dumped him, and cheated on him, but if being buried alive didn't kill him, he wasn't going to give Amy and John the right to push him over the edge.

As the morning sun rose higher in the sky he thought maybe he should call his parents and tell them about Amy, but he reasoned that there was plenty of time later. His head was beginning to clear and he realized that he wasn't really alone. He had a group of friends that he could count on; a group that was like family and he'd blown them off. He felt a pang of guilt; Sara in particular had looked concerned as he'd turned down the offer for breakfast. The others hadn't known yet about Amy breaking up with him; and maybe that was part of why he didn't want to go to breakfast.

The thought of food suddenly made his stomach grumble and he realized that not only did he need to get something to eat; he needed to go home and get some sleep, maybe via the liquor store so he'd be able to sleep. As he slid off of the hood of the Denali, his cell phone sounded from his belt. He pulled it out of the holster and glanced at the caller ID. "Hey, Rick."

"Nick, man, I thought we were hitting the driving range this morning." Warrick sounded a little gruff.

Nick realized that Warrick must be standing on his front step wondering where the hell he was; and knowing Warrick he'd probably called the lab to find out if Nick was pulling a double. "Sorry man, it slipped my mind."

"Sara told me about Amy." Warrick had a tone in his voice that said everything he'd been thinking about Amy but had held back because she was Nick's girlfriend.

Nick wasn't sure whether to be irritated with Sara or thankful that he didn't have to tell all of his friends what had happened. "Yeah."

Warrick's tone softened. "You ok?" Before Nick had been buried alive, they'd been good friends; afterward Warrick considered him a brother and he let Nick know that he could count on him for anything. Life was just too damn short.

"I will be." Nick hoped that he sounded convincing. He knew it would hurt like hell for a while, but hopefully he'd get over Amy and be able to move on. "She hooked up with John."

"Keller?" Warrick knew the guy and went out of his way to steer women away from him. On the same token, the guy was usually someone that had your back, even if he might be willing to steal your girl.

"Yeah." Nick let out a tired sigh. "Mind if we hit the driving range another time?" There was no way once he drove the forty or so miles back into Vegas that he was going to have the energy to hit a bucket of golf balls.

"Where are you?" Warrick hoped that Nick wasn't in some cheap bar off the Strip drinking away his sorrows.

Nick let out a wry laugh. "Hoover Dam."

"You're not thinking about jumping are you?" The words were out of Warrick's mouth before he had a chance to think about it.

"Thought about it for about a half a second, but I figured if I could be buried alive and live, it just wasn't worth the trouble over a woman." There was a hint of humor in Nick's voice. "No, man, I'll be fine. I just went for a drive to clear my head a little. I'm gonna head home and get some sleep."

"You know we're all here for you, Bro." Warrick knew that Nick knew, but he just wanted to remind him.

"I appreciate it, Rick." Nick smiled. He couldn't buy friends as good as the ones he had. "I'll catch you at shift."

"Sure." Warrick replied and then ended the call.

Nick put his phone back on his belt and climbed behind the wheel of his Denali, turning it around and heading back towards Vegas. As he pulled into his driveway, he noticed a vehicle just like his sitting in front of his house. He shook his head as he considered that Warrick must have waited for him to get home to make sure he actually got home and he began to put together a speech in his mind. It wasn't until he'd slid out of the SUV that he realized that Warrick Brown wasn't the one parked in front of his house.

Sara stood leaning against her Denali, a smile flitting across her face as Nick glanced over at her. "Where've you been?" She tried to keep her tone light, but she'd been worried about him when she had swung by his place after breakfast with an order to go for him and found that he wasn't there. When Warrick had stopped by, she'd filled him in on what had happened, both out of concern and to explain why she was camping out in front of Nick's house.

"Just driving." Nick was grateful for her concern; she of all people would know that he wasn't going to be sleeping when he got home from work.

Sara's expression softened. "I was worried about you...feel like having some company for a while?" She knew that if she'd been dumped, she wouldn't want to be alone, and with what Nick had gone through, she wanted to offer to be there in case he had a nightmare.

Nick felt emotion choking in his throat and nodded. "I think having a little company might be kind of nice."


	3. Chapter 3

"How can you really know anyway?" Sara sat on one end of Nick's couch and he sat on the other, both of them were sipping bottles of some microbrew that Nick kept stocked in his fridge.

"I don't know, Sara." Nick sounded tired and worn out. "I just thought that since she stuck with me through that she was it. I guess I didn't consider that she might feel guilty about breaking up with me right then."

"You know I never really liked her very much." Sara confessed hoping that it would make Nick feel better and not worse.

Nick arched a single brow at her. "I know."

As he took a swig of his beer, Sara looked a little surprised. "You knew?" She thought she'd done a pretty good job of liking Amy for Nick's sake, but she should have known that Nick knew her better than that.

Nick laughed. "Warrick didn't like her either, and I'm sure that if Catherine had spent more than five minutes alone with her, she would have had a few opinions too."

Sara furrowed her brow. "Well if you knew that none of us liked her, why did you stay with her?" Not that he needed their permission to date anyone, but she thought they all had pretty good insight into people's character.

"'Cause I liked her." Nick replied honestly. "You know how it is; you're too blinded by your own feelings to see what's clear as day to everyone else."

Sara pursed her lips together in a bit of a good natured sneer. "You mean Hank." She hadn't dated much since she had found out that Hank was using her to cheat on his girlfriend and then she'd been so obsessed with Grissom that she wouldn't have noticed anyone else anyway.

"No, I did not mean Hank, but since you brought him up...what did you ever see in him anyway? He was sort of pompous and he had a weak stomach." At that last comment Nick winked at her in teasing.

"I liked him...at least until I found out that I was the other woman." Sara took another sip of her beer.

For some reason, Nick found the whole conversation humorous at that point. "You know it appears that you and I have incredibly bad taste in who we date."

Sara was about to protest, but he was right. Her run of luck with men since she'd moved to Vegas was deplorable. She let out a soft chuckle, fingering the neck of the beer bottle. "I don't even have to date them to have bad taste in them."

Nick just shook his head. "Ah, Sara, Grissom's just too damn absorbed with his career to notice anyone. You shouldn't take it personally." He knew that she had been harboring feelings for their boss for a long time and that if Grissom was honest with himself that he had feelings for Sara too. The problem was, Grissom was already married to his career and he wasn't about to give it up for something as intangible as love.

"It's a little hard not too." She admitted before setting her beer down on his coffee table. "He sends all these mixed signals and then when I confront him about it, he just sits there like a fish out of water moving his mouth with no words coming out."

Nick considered her words for a moment and then smiled at her a bit tentatively. "Sara, don't take this the wrong way...you need to let it go...he's not ever going to do anything about it."

Sara knew he was right, but it didn't hurt any less to hear the words. She'd been working at moving on for a while, but it was hard to do when the object of your affection that you were trying to get over worked with you on a daily basis. She furrowed her brow. "Hey, when did this turn into my pity party?" She tilted her head slightly and gestured towards Nick. "This is your pity party."

Nick snickered. "I guess you needed it more than I did."

Sara smirked at him a bit self consciously. "I do not need a pity party." She was thankful for his friendship; over the years she'd known him, there wasn't much she couldn't talk to him about.

"Ok, fine, this is my pity party and I want another beer." He pulled himself off of the couch and quirked an eyebrow at her. "What about you, Sar, you want another?"

She considered it for a moment and then shook her head. "I shouldn't, I've still got to drive home." She didn't want to impose herself on Nick any more than she had.

"You could stay you know...I've got a spare room." Nick really didn't want to be alone. He knew he was going to have to be, but not today.

Sara let out a yawn.

Nick smirked. "See, you're too tired to drive, you have to stay." His smirked softened into a smile. "I'd like it if you stayed..."

"Are you still having nightmares?" Sara sounded concerned. She wouldn't mind staying; Nick needed a friend and she had vowed to herself before they'd found him that she would do anything for him if they could just find out where he was buried before it was too late.

Nick nodded somberly and absentmindedly reached up and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "It's just hard to sleep when no one else is around."

"I wouldn't mind another beer." She smiled softly at him.

"Ok, two beers coming up." Nick felt an incredible sense of relief that she was going to stay and as he padded his way into his kitchen he smiled. He returned a few moments later and sank into the couch, handing Sara her beer.

"Thanks." She took a long swig and let out a satisfied sigh as she trailed a finger down the bottle where the condensation was gathering.

"No problem." Nick took a long drink and glanced at Sara. "Did I tell you that I stopped by her house after I left the lab?"

Sara winced. "How did that go?"

"I didn't get out of the truck. She wasn't alone." Nick was cradling the bottle of beer in his hands and studying the label intently.

"Oh, Nick." She knew how that felt and it made her dislike Amy all the more.

"And that's not even the worst of it." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I know the guy; he's been dropping hints to her the whole time we've been going out that he's available if she ever got tired of me."

Sara looked sickened. "No offense Nick, but you need better friends."

Nick shook his head and then smiled at her, his expression and tone conveying much. "No...no, I think I've got the best kind of friends."


	4. Chapter 4

Sara ended up falling asleep on the couch and rather than wake her so she could sleep in his spare room, Nick simply got a blanket and covered her up with it. He had appreciated the distraction that the last few hours had provided. He was still hurting over not only Amy breaking up with him, but finding out that she'd cheated as well. He reasoned that he might as well try and get some sleep before shift, however unlikely it seemed.

Stripping down to his boxers he crawled under his covers and found himself just staring at the ceiling for a long time before he fell into a restless sleep.

It was several hours later when Sara was roused from sleep by the sound of someone in distress down the hall. She was a bit disoriented as she woke and then remembered where she was, but as she became more alert, she realized that Nick must be having a nightmare.

_The confines of the coffin were closing in on him and the ants continued to swarm over him, biting as they went. Nick clawed at the top trying to find some way out. He heard voices and then suddenly faces were swimming before him. He could see Amy and John standing on top of his grave laughing at him. He continued to thrash, this time pushing on the sides of the coffin, knowing that he had to get out had to get away from them._

Sara pulled herself off of the couch and made her way down Nick's hallway towards his bedroom. When she opened the door, she could see him thrashing about, tangled in the blankets and obviously in a panic. "Nick."

"_I just can't commit, Nick...I'm not ready to be with just one guy." Amy seemed to plead with him to understand. _

"_You're such a downer man...I know you had a tough deal, but no one wants to be around you anymore." John looked every bit the part of the ex-frat boy._

"_I just want to have fun, Nick. Please understand...it's easier this way." Amy looked over at John._

"_I'm the kind of guy she needs man." John lowered his voice conspiratorially. "At least for the time being...I hear your buddy Paul is seeing a pretty hot little number too."_

_The ants. They just kept crawling, and now they seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Out of nowhere he could see the face of Rick Moranis and suddenly he was no longer in the coffin, but shrunk in someone's backyard surrounded by giant ants._

Sara called out Nick's name again softly so that she wouldn't startle him. "Nick." She was nearly at his bed now and as she reached forward and touched his arm, Nick screamed, gripping her arm and pulling her onto the bed.

_One of the ants bit his entire arm and so he decided to fight back, but strangely, the ant began to talk and the voice sounded familiar._

"Nick." Sara was startled but not really afraid as she tried to gently wake Nick up. "Nick, it's me, you're ok." She hoped that her tone would break through his nightmare and help him to calm down.

Nick's eyes suddenly shot open, his breathing was rapid and as he began to recognize his surroundings, he realized that he had a death grip on Sara's arm as she lay sprawled on the bed next to him. There was a waver in his voice. "Sara."

"You had a nightmare...but you're fine, I'm here and you're fine." Sara tried to soothe him in the darkness as she listened to his labored breathing.

Nick's grip on her arm loosened as he realized what had happened and that he was probably hurting her. "I'm sorry, Sara." He felt so damn helpless that he couldn't have a normal night's sleep.

"Hey, don't apologize." Sara reached out to touch his arm again and caught his hand instead. She gave it an encouraging squeeze. "You've been through hell; you can't expect things to be fine overnight."

"All I want is a decent night's sleep." He sounded frustrated.

Sara was quiet for a long moment as she considered what to say next, and then suddenly it became clear. "Do you know why I've never talked about my family?"

Nick wasn't sure why she was bringing that up right at this moment, but he had wondered why she was so private about it given that they were good friends. But then again, he'd never told anyone but Catherine about how he'd been molested when he was nine. "I'm sure you have your reasons."

Sara took courage from the darkness of the room. "My mom killed my dad." The words hung in the air between them and she held her breath for a moment as she waited for Nick to say something.

"Oh, Sara, I'm so sorry." He really wasn't sure how to react to a bombshell like that, but it sure as hell explained a lot about Sara.

"I guess looking back, it was only a matter of time...he beat the hell out of her on a regular basis...I thought that was normal for so long." Sara's voice stayed even and in control; she had no intention of losing it, at least until she'd gotten to why she was telling him this.

Nick felt emotion welling up in his throat as he realized just why she identified so clearly with victims of certain crimes, and he wondered if her dad had ever hit her. "Is that why you became a CSI?"

"Part of it anyway." She could tell that he was feeling her pain. "She took the brunt of it so he'd never get his hands on us...didn't want us to grow up with that kind of scar...but growing up in a living hell is it's own kind of scar."

Nick felt tears slipping down his cheeks.

"The night he decided to take it out on me and my brother, she went after him...she had enough...and there was just so much blood." Her voice wavered as the images came unbidden to her mind. "We went into foster care...we were supposed to be safe...but I couldn't sleep for weeks...months really without having a nightmare."

The fact that Sara had a brother registered in Nick's mind. "What happened to your brother?" He was suddenly concerned that she was alone in this world and he knew how much his own family meant to him.

Sara let out a soft sigh. "We lost touch. The last I heard from him, he was living somewhere up near Seattle working for some dot com as a computer programmer. I think he thinks it's easier to not be around the people that remind you of the most painful part of your life."

"Sara, I really am sorry." He squeezed her hand and scooted over on the bed so she'd have more room.

"I can't change the past, I can only learn from it." She sounded at peace with what had happened to her. "Being forced to go to counseling has its benefits."

Nick wiped away the tears on his cheeks; he reasoned that Sara was right. At some point the nightmares would lessen; he'd learned that well enough after what had happened with Nigel Crane. But for now, he really didn't want to be alone. "Do you think you could stay in here with me?" His voice sounded small and vulnerable.

"Yeah." Sara smiled in the darkness as she squeezed his hand. "I'll be here as long as you like."


	5. Chapter 5

Nick woke up later to find that Sara was still asleep and still holding onto his hand. They'd talked for a while after he'd had his nightmare until both of them drifted off to sleep. Thankfully, that had been the only nightmare he'd had while he slept. He studied her face as he considered her confession about her family and he wondered how much pain she carried around with her that she never spoke of, how many personal scars. A smile tugged at his lips as he realized that they really weren't that different. He wondered how many people in life carried around burdens of what they considered deep dark secrets that if they just found someone to share them with would be so much lighter.

_Why can't I just fall in love with someone like Sara?_

He wasn't sure where the thought came from really, or why it startled him, but as he thought about it, he realized that he spent far too much time in his life dating people like Amy who after the fact were really only in it for a good time. She had tried, he'd give her that, but in the end, the serious nature of what Nick was going through had proved to be too much; that and perhaps the charms of John. Someone like Sara though, who had gone through their own personal hell and had come out the other side, not unscathed, but not bitter and angry at the world either, at least not anymore; perhaps that was the kind of woman he should be looking for.

He glanced up at the clock and realized that this was the longest he'd slept in one stretch in a long time. Shift was still a couple of hours away, but he decided to get up and take a shower and maybe try and eat something. If tonight was anything like last night, they were in for a doozey. As he gently extricated his hand from Sara's she began to stir and her eyes fluttered open.

Concern flickered across her face. "You ok?"

"Yeah...I slept pretty good...I just thought I should get up and get ready for work." He replied with a soft smile.

Sara bolted upright. "What time is it?" She had visions of skating into work late like Nick had been prone to do at times and they had a lot of work to do from the case they'd had the night before.

Nick chuckled softly. "We've still got a couple of hours. I just didn't want to push it."

Sara quirked an eyebrow at him as a smirk flitted across her face. "So you _can_ get up early."

He was easily bated and smirked back. "I'll have you know that when we still had a swing shift, I would have already been at work for hours by now."

"Yeah, well I'm glad that Ecklie decided to do away with the swing shift and put us all back together." She smiled at him, glad to have her real family back together.

"Me too." Nick smiled back unashamed. One thing he'd learned from his hellish ordeal was that life is too short not to tell the people you care about that you care about them. "I missed working with you, Sar."

"Speaking of work...I'm gonna head home and get a shower and change my clothes." Her expression softened as she looked at him. "I'm glad you got some sleep." For some reason for the first time since she'd crawled into bed with him she noticed his attire and even though she'd seen him change his shirt on occasion, seeing him lying there in nothing but his boxer shorts sent a jolt through her that she quickly squashed down. The last thing she needed was to heap even more confusion and turmoil into Nick's life by suddenly finding that she had a secret attraction to him. She quickly pulled herself off of the bed. "Uh, I'll see you at work?"

"Yeah." Nick smiled, and if he picked up on Sara's slight change in demeanor, he didn't let on. "You want me to pick you up some coffee?...It's the least I can do..." He knew that she could have gone home rather than stay with him, and he was grateful.

Her smile was lopsided. "I won't ever refuse coffee...especially if it's really good coffee."

"Nothing but the best." He winked at her and then pulled himself out of bed.

"Ok, then I'll see you." For some reason, Sara seemed to be fixed to the spot, a delighted smirk on her face as she noted just how defined Nick's chest was.

Nick chortled out a laugh as he caught her staring and he turned her around and swatted at her butt as he shooed her out the door of his bedroom. "I can see that you see me...now get going."

The flirty banter that they'd shared for years seemed to flow easily and Sara glanced over her shoulder at him, arching a brow. "Not a word to Greg about me sleeping with you...he'd hear it all wrong."

Nick wouldn't dream to telling anyone how he'd needed Sara to hold his hand so he could sleep; most of them weren't aware that he still had nightmares most every night. His tone was decidedly playful though, even if his words were sincere. "It would be quite the coup to be the first man at CSI to sleep with the lovely Sara Sidle, but I won't say a word."

Sara giggled and then rolled her eyes at him as she headed for his front door. "Just make sure that coffee's a triple tall."

"Yes, ma'am." Nick called out as he tromped into his bathroom to take a shower.

An hour and a half later, Nick waltzed into the break room feeling far more rested than he had in a month, and probably far more rested than he should have been less than twelve hours after being dumped by a woman that he'd almost been convinced was going to be the future Mrs. Stokes.

Warrick was already sitting at the break room table sipping a cup of questionable dayshift coffee when Nick arrived, and taking in his too cheerful demeanor, he quirked an eyebrow at him. "Over Amy already?" It was probably a crass comment given that his friend had been pretty broken up over the whole thing, but he just wanted to make sure that Nick hadn't done something dumb like take her back after she'd gone for his friend John, although John wasn't the kind of friend Warrick thought anyone should have.

Nick gave Warrick a look that was a mixture of smugness and irritation. "I'm working on it, ok? I just actually got some sleep for a change." He pulled one of the two latte cups from the cup holder and took a sip.

"Two cups?" Warrick wondered just how long Sara had stuck around after he'd left Nick's house. The way she'd been camped out front, he wouldn't have been surprised if she waited until he got home and then some.

"Yeah, I picked one up for Sara." Nick admitted. "She stuck around and let me bad mouth Amy."

Warrick let out a deep chuckle; perhaps Nick was going to get beyond this girl. He'd seen her for what she was almost from the get go when she'd made a play for him shortly after she and Nick had started dating, but he'd turned her down flat. He only wished that he'd said something to Nick. "If I'd known you were gonna do that, I would have stuck around too."

Nick just shook his head and chuckled softly. "It just sort of worked out that way...I know you never like her much, man."

"No, I didn't." Warrick agreed as he eyed Sara's coffee. "Does Sara know you're bringing her that?" He made a move to reach for it when the lady in question walked in.

"Is that mine?" She shot an amused glance at Warrick.

Warrick sat back in his chair and just chuckled.

Nick grinned at her as she sat down, handing her the cup of coffee. "Triple tall no foam non-fat hazelnut latte, just the way you like it."


	6. Chapter 6

"So she dumped you?" Greg looked at Nick incredulously. He had always thought Amy was hot; perhaps a bit too flirty, but so was Nick and so he thought maybe they were a good match.

Nick's jaw tightened. "I don't really want to talk about it, man." He'd had his fill of sympathetic glances since word had started making its way around the lab. He kept garnering glances that were more pity filled than anything else.

"I heard she cheated on you too." Greg kept running at the mouth. He wasn't doing it maliciously, he was just trying to get his facts straight and he was inwardly cursing himself or not picking up on just what kind of girl Amy really was. He was usually a much better judge of character.

"Look, Greg, can we drop it?" Nick sounded a bit curt, but he just wanted to focus on the case at hand and get the rest of the evidence processed.

"Sorry." Greg was genuinely apologetic. "If she was a guy, I'd kick her ass for you." He wasn't sure what to say, but he wanted Nick to know that he thought the circumstances truly sucked.

Nick let out a chuckle at the comment and then quirked an eyebrow at his friend. "Well if she was a guy, I wouldn't have dated her in the first place, but thanks anyway." He shook his head in amusement as Greg headed out of the layout room to see if the results were back in trace from the case he was working with Warrick.

It wasn't more than a few minutes later when the concerned voice of Catherine Willows interrupted Nick again. "Hey, Nicky, I heard about what happened..." Her words trailed off as he looked up with a clenched jaw.

He just nodded and let out a sigh. "Is there anyone that doesn't know?" Nick had never been one that wanted his whole life exposed to everyone else, but in the last month it seemed that nothing about his life was very private anymore.

Catherine could tell that he was frustrated. "I'm sorry, Nick...everyone is just concerned." It was clear from his demeanor that he was tired of talking about it.

"I've been dumped before, I've even been cheated on before...it's not the end of the world and I'll be fine. Can't I just come to work and do my job without everyone wanting to know every detail of my life?" Nick knew that Catherine was only concerned, but she was getting the full brunt of his frustration at the moment. He just wanted his ordeal of a month ago to fade into the past in more ways than one and everyone wanting to know how he was doing after his breakup certainly wasn't helping.

An understanding smile spread across Catherine's face. "I guess we have been a little too overprotective of you haven't we?" She had probably been the worst offender, having always acted a little maternal towards him; after Nick's parents had returned to Texas, she'd sort of taken over the roll of his mom.

"Yeah, you have." The corners of his mouth twitched upwards into a smile as he studied her face.

She had an apologetic expression on her face as she stepped towards him. "I'm really sorry." She arched a single brow. "And for the record, if I'd known what I know about her now, I would have..."

"You and everyone else, Cath." Nick smiled at her. "And I probably wouldn't have listened; I've never been one to take advice about my love life, just ask my mom."

Catherine chuckled. "Oh, I think that's a universal problem all parents have." Her thoughts drifted to Lindsey who seemed to be more and more argumentative as she sought to gain her independence. She turned to leave and nearly collided with Sara. "Whoa, where's the fire."

"Sorry, Cath." Sara was grinning as she rounded the corner into the layout room and directed her attention towards Nick. "We got a hit in CODIS."

Nick arched his brows and smiled back at her. "And?"

"DNA matched the boyfriend. Brass is picking him up. We need to meet him down at PD." There was just something about working a case with promising leads that lit Sara up like a Christmas tree.

"That's what I like to hear." He set the items he'd been examining and stowed them back in a box to return to the evidence locker. "I'll meet you outside in a few minutes." He was already picking up the box and moving towards the door.

By the time he headed out into the parking lot, Sara was standing in front of his Denali with her arms crossed over her chest. "Catherine giving you the third degree?"

Nick let out something akin to a snort. "Her and everyone else." He smiled at her, glad that he felt like he could just be himself around her and not worry about her pressing him to tell her anything he wasn't ready to. Maybe that's why that thought had gone through his head earlier when she was still sleeping next to him. Someone like Sara would be quite a catch.

Sara felt a sudden rush of sadness for him as she climbed into the passenger seat, glancing over at him as he slid behind the driver's seat. He'd been through so much and yet he managed to keep from getting bitter; something that she'd come close to staying. Her counselor had helped her to see that staying angry at other people really only hurt her in the end. She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't really heard what Nick had said until he reached over and gently nudged her elbow.

"If you'd rather not, just say so...I'm a big boy." His face had a mixture of hope and trepidation on it as he waited for her to respond.

"Huh?" Sara knew she couldn't fumble her way through this, he'd obvious asked her something important. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said..." She looked at him apologetically.

"Oh." Nick looked relieved and then nervous all over again. "I was beginning to get a complex there." He took a deep breath and repeated himself. "It's just that I was wondering...I mean, I haven't slept that good in a long time...I know it's pushing it, but I was hoping..."

If he hadn't been so serious, Sara would have laughed at how nervous he looked and the thought occurred to her that maybe this was how he acted when he asked a girl on a date. She quirked an eyebrow at him. "So you're asking me if I'll sleep with you again, aren't you?"

He let out a soft chuckle and rubbed his hand over the nape of his neck as he realized exactly how that sounded. "I guess I am, aren't I?"

She considered his request for a brief minute before she answered him. "I did say that I'd be there for you as long as you needed me to be."

"So that was a 'yes' then?" He didn't want to get his hopes up that she'd be willing to actually sleep with him on purpose, even when Amy had shared his bed after his ordeal, he'd never really slept as well as he had with Sara. Maybe it was because it wasn't about sex, or maybe it was because he didn't feel like he had to impress Sara, but whatever it was the thought of her laying there beside him to comfort him in case he had a nightmare gave him a certain measure of peace.

"Yeah." Sara smiled at the relief that washed over his face. She wasn't really sure it was really a good idea given where her thoughts had drifted to earlier, but she reasoned that he couldn't possibly be attracted to her since he'd just been jilted by a woman that he'd been convinced was 'the one'.


	7. Chapter 7

"Uh, do you want to watch a movie or something?" Nick wasn't sure why, but he felt about as nervous as he had on his first date in high school as he and Sara walked through the door into his house. They had stopped by her apartment so she could pick up a change of clothes and a few toiletries and now it occurred to him that the whole situation was making him feel a little awkward. She was his friend and he was a little too excited at the prospect of getting to share a bed with her again; in the back of his mind he was considering that his motives were suspect.

"Uh, sure." Sara smiled at him, feeling as if maybe she shouldn't have volunteered to sleep with him. He had a perfectly good couch and a perfectly good guest room that she could have offered to stay in rather than actually share a bed with him given the way her thoughts had been wandering.

"Or we could eat something...neither of us has eaten in a while." Nick was formulating a plan in his mind. If he could get them to stay up long enough, he'd be too tired to do something stupid in his sleep to make Sara uncomfortable.

"That sounds good." Food could be just the distraction she needed to focus on the fact that she was here for Nick as his friend. She couldn't let herself forget that less than a day and a half ago, he'd been perfectly happy with Amy; until she dumped him that is. Even if there was a remote possibility that Nick could ever be attracted to her, she did not want to be someone's rebound.

Nick sauntered over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to take stock of what he had in it. He glanced over at Sara with a quirked eyebrow. "We may want to consider eating take out."

Sara looked at him curiously, noting the impish grin that flitted across his face. "Any particular reason?"

"Well unless you have a need to make your own antibiotics, I think I need to clean out my fridge." Nick smirked as he held up a container of left-over something which was clearly growing something.

"Take out's good." Sara smirked back.

"Ok, you pick, I'll just clean this out." He gestured towards the refrigerator and then grabbed the trash can and pulled it closer. "The take out menus are by the phone."

Sara walked over to the desk that held the phone and began to sift through the menus sitting there. "Pizza, Thai, Chinese, Mexican..." She came to one menu and stopped, a smile spreading across her face. "How about Indian?"

Nick didn't even look up, he just nodded. "That sounds good."

Just as Sara reached for the phone to place an order, it rang. She looked at Nick who glanced up at her. "You want me to get that?"

"Sure." Nick reasoned that it was probably his mom, the only other person who would normally have called at this hour he didn't even want to think about.

Sara hit the answer button on his cordless phone, the caller ID just showing it as a no ID number. "Hello." There was silence at the other end. "Hello?"

A female voice that Sara recognized spoke. "Is Nick there?"

Sara's eyes widened as she realized just who was on the other end of the line. "I'll see if he wants to talk to you." She covered the receiver and mouthed her words as she looked at Nick with concern on her face. "Amy."

Nick grimaced but then reached out for her to give him the phone. His brows were deeply furrowed as he spoke. "Hello." His body language changed as he listened to her talk; he looked tense.

Sara just stood there watching his facial expressions. He was obviously not pleased with the conversation.

After a few minutes of listening, Nick finally interrupted. "Look, Amy, I'm sorry that you're sorry...but I know about you and John."

Sara could hear the choice curse word that Amy spoke through the phone from where she stood on the other side of the counter.

"How could you do that?" Nick looked genuinely hurt.

Sara wondered if she shouldn't just go into the other room and she actually took a step to head down the hallway to give Nick some privacy when he caught her eyes and shook his head, waving her back.

Whatever explanation Amy offered apparently sounded hollow. "Look, Amy, I thought I really loved you, but maybe it just wasn't enough for you..." Nick winced. "Ok, or maybe it was too much for you...in any case, I don't think I want you back." He paused for a moment and looked over at Sara who he was surprised to find was trying to blink back tears. "No, I _know_ I don't want you back." He clenched his jaw as Amy tried to give him one more argument to take her back. "You knew what kind of guy John was before you made your choice. I'm sorry, but no." Nick ended the call and set the phone down on the counter, letting out a deep sigh of relief that there was no going back.

"Do you want to be alone?" Sara's eyes were still a little teary, but she'd managed to keep them all in check. She reasoned that if Nick needed some time, she could certainly go out and pick up some food.

His smile was weary but peaceful. "No. I just want to spend some time with my friend and get some sleep." He was grateful for Sara and maybe someday he might explore these other feelings he was starting to have; but for now, he just wanted her company.

Sara made her way back into the kitchen and walked over to Nick to give him a hug, feeling a tear finally slip down her cheek, and unsure of why she felt so emotional all of a sudden. Her voice was a bit thick when she whispered loudly. "She doesn't deserve you. You know that don't you?"

Nick enveloped her in his arms and just held her for a long moment, whispering back. "Thanks, Sar, you have no idea how much that means to me." He wasn't sure he wanted to try and explain it to her, so he just held onto her and breathed in the scent of her hair, finally pulling away before the moment had a chance to get awkward.

Sara smiled at him. "Are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah." Wanting to change the subject, Nick smirked. "Now before we were so rudely interrupted, you were going to order some Indian food." He wanted to get his mind as far away from Amy as possible, and at the moment, dinner and a movie with Sara just sounded heavenly.


	8. Chapter 8

_The walls were closing in; his apartment seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. The air was almost suffocating him as he tried to find a door, or even a window. On his hands and knees now, he could see faces taunting him. Nigel Crane kept chanting over and over "I am one, who am I?" A face he'd managed to keep out of his dreams for a long time gave him a stern look. "Don't tell anyone, Nicky, they won't believe you anyway." Somehow that sixteen year-old girl looked almost more menacing than Nigel did. _

_Grissom's brow was arched. "Say 'silk, silk, silk...now what do cows drink?" _

_Sara's hands rested on his shoulders. "So Tricky Nicky, how many outstandings did you get on your evaluation?" _

_Catherine's expression was full of trepidation. "I think we'd better head down to the police station" Her smile flitted across her face. "I have never seen a more perfect match...he killed her."_

_A faceless voice rang out in the eerie greenish light. "Hello CSI guy. Do it fast or do it slow, either way, you're going to die."_

_Nick screamed, thrashing his fists at what was now the ceiling of his house closing in on him. It didn't seem there was going to be any escape and he felt an unbearable pressure on his chest._

Sara was startled awake as she realized that they'd fallen asleep on Nick's couch while they watched a movie that was long since over and he was having another nightmare. "Nick." She gently whispered his name and tried to move herself from where she'd fallen asleep against his chest.

"No, please, no..." Nick whimpered in his sleep, clearly panicked by his dream.

"Nick." Sara reached up and touched his cheek softly. "Nicky." Her brow was furrowed in concern and she truly hoped that sooner rather than later, his nightmares would go away.

Nick's eyes bolted open as he tried to catch his breath. It took him a minute to realize that Sara was right there, that he could breathe despite the pressure of her resting against his chest. His arms instinctively tightened around her. "I'm sorry." His brows knit together as he tried to tell if he'd scared her.

"I'm ok." She smiled reassuringly at him. "Are you ok?" He seemed to be relaxing as the images from his dream faded away.

"I'll be fine..." He closed his eyes for a moment in relief that it had only been a dream. "I could see Nigel...and Cassie..." His words trailed off as he realized he'd never told Sara about his sexual assault as a child.

Sara stroked his face gently as she looked at him with inquisitive concern. "Cassie?" She didn't recall him ever mentioning her before.

Nick garnered his courage as he opened his eyes. His voice was soft. "I was nine...she was a last minute babysitter..." He wasn't sure how much to tell her.

He really didn't need to say anymore as a realization dawned on Sara's face. She felt a stab of pain deep in her soul for the child that Nick had been, and for the part of his childhood that had been stolen. She understood what that was like, in a completely different way, but she still understood what it was like to have the evil choices of other people rob you of your childhood. "I am so sorry, Nick." Her voice was thick with emotion and she rested her head against his chest. She listened to the sound of his heart beating as an assurance that he was ok.

"It's not your fault." He really didn't want to focus on his demons, he wanted to focus on something good for a change, and right now holding onto Sara felt pretty damn good.

"I know...it's just...Shit. Why does so much crap have to happen to kids?" She was enjoying just being close to him, and she wondered if she might ever have this chance outside of these circumstances.

"I think that's why we do what we do, Sar...so other people don't have to go through the hell we've been through." Nick knew that each of the CSIs had a very personal reason for why they did the job; you couldn't stick with it for long if you didn't have a passion for it; if something deep inside you didn't stir you to face death everyday to get some semblance of justice for the victims.

She looked frustrated. "It's just that some people get so much more hell than others." She lifted her head and looked into Nick's eyes with compassion. She had always had a connection with him; that's why they'd become fast friends when she first moved to Vegas, but now she understood that their connection went a lot deeper because they were both survivors.

"And everyone says I'm the one that empathizes too much." Nick's mouth twitched into a smile as he looked back into her eyes.

Sara chuckled softly as she let out a yawn. "Yeah, well, I guess you and I are two peas in a pod." She was finding that she was entirely too comfortable with the way she was laying against Nick.

"Two tired peas in a pod." Nick yawned too. "What do you say we give up this couch and get some sleep in a real bed?" Images flashed through his mind of what sharing his bed with her all the time might be like, and he tried to banish them as he loosened his hold on her.

Sara reluctantly disentangled herself from him and pulled herself off the couch. "That sounds good...I just need to change into some pajamas." She headed over towards the front door where she'd dropped her duffel bag on the way in.

Nick stood up and considered giving her an out; he wasn't so sure he still wouldn't do something to make her uncomfortable in his sleep if they did share a bed. "Uh, Sara?"

She glanced up from where she stooped next to her duffel bag noting the nervous expression on his face. "Yeah?"

"You don't have to sleep _with_ me you know...you can sleep in the guest room if you want to." He really didn't want to take advantage of her friendship to the point that the boundaries got too blurry. The last thing he wanted to do was to drive her away.

She tilted her head slightly and smirked. "I've already slept with you, Nick..." She glanced over at the couch. "Besides, if you have another nightmare, that way I'll be right there..." Her brow furrowed. "Unless you don't want me to..."

"Uh, no, I do want you to sleep with me..." He chuckled softly and gave her an impish smile as he pause for a second. "Do you realize how this sounds?"

She smirked at him, trying to stifle the blush that stole across her cheeks. "If I didn't know you better, I might think you were hitting on me." Her tone was teasing, and she tried to keep things light. The idea that he might find her attractive just didn't register in Sara's mind as a possibility; she reasoned it was just the line of conversation that had brought the flirty banter that had always existed between them to the surface.

"I'm sure no one would blame me if I did." Nick smirked back wondering what she would do if he did.


	9. Chapter 9

"I used to have this spot on my ceiling at our house in Tamales Bay and when things got really bad I would just stare at it and pretend that I was outside looking up at the stars; that the spot was somehow my special star that I could make a wish on to take me away from it all." Sara was lying on her side facing Nick, her fingers aimlessly playing at the edge of the comforter.

"Do you ever talk to your mom?" Nick wondered how you'd deal with something like Sara had. He couldn't imagine anyone in his family hurting anyone, let alone the one person you had promised to love, honor, and cherish.

"No." Sara's tone was probably a little too forceful and she furrowed her brow as she thought about the last time she'd seen her mom. "I mean, at first I wasn't allowed to see her unless it was a court appointed visit and then when I had the chance to go whenever I liked, I didn't really want to see her...I guess part of me was glad that my dad couldn't hurt her anymore; couldn't ever hurt my brother and I, but part of me was just angry with her because she killed my dad." A flash of embarrassment registered on her face. "That probably sounds strange..."

Nick reached out and touched her hand, smiling as he felt her lace her fingers with his. "No, it doesn't really sound strange. Whether he was a good man or a bad man, he was still your dad...sometimes you can't choose who you love, you just do."

Sara smiled at him for understanding, even if he couldn't truly understand. "When I lived in San Francisco, I tried to go see my mom a few times, but it was too hard...prison has made her even more bitter than she was before, and she resented that I'd ended up on this side of the law." Sara explained to him not quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Nick her story right then.

Nick chuckled a little oddly. "So she would have rather that you become a felon?" He wasn't sure he understood exactly where Sara's mom developed her rationale.

"No." Sara smirked, letting out a yawn. "My parents were hippies...so they sort of had an inherent mistrust for anyone in uniform that represented authority."

"Oh, so they would have gotten along really well with my mom and dad." Nick's sarcasm was thick, but the irony of how opposite their parents were just couldn't escape him.

"I wish my parents were more like yours." There was wistfulness in Sara's voice. "Your parents would have sold everything if it meant that they could just have you back alive and well." There was a part of her that wondered if her parents would have done the same for her; and she was doubtful that they would.

"Well I'm glad that they didn't have to do that...they've worked pretty damn hard and they deserve to enjoy it." Nick felt a lump in his throat at just how much his family meant to him especially since his ordeal. He'd grossly underestimated his value to them and to his friends, and now he often felt overwhelmed with how much people cared about him...well, except for Amy anyway.

"I think they would have found it all pretty hollow if they'd lost you." Sara looked intently into Nick's eyes and she was struck with how different things would have been if they hadn't found him in time. "I'm not sure what I would have done if we'd lost you." She scooted closer to him and slipped an arm across his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Nick wasn't sure what to say, and so he didn't say anything, instead, he began stroking Sara's hair and enjoying just how close she was to him.

"I would have really missed you, Nick." Again there was a wistful tone to her voice and she seemed to melt against him.

"Hey." Nick slid his fingers through her hair, not wanting to see her so sad. His voice was so tender and all he wanted to do was reassure her.

Sara glanced up at him, suddenly aware of just how close to him she was, just how close their faces were. She blinked.

"You don't have to miss me because I'm here...ok?" Nick got the feeling that something had changed between them here in these last few moments and he wasn't really sure whether to test the waters.

Sara considered briefly bolting from his room as she felt as if his eyes could look directly into her soul, but then she realized that he didn't seem to be put off by her proximity, that he seemed to be contemplating something as he looked into her eyes. It was when his fingers caressed her cheek that Sara felt herself moving fractionally towards him.

The feelings that Nick had wanted to explore later came surging towards the surface and he could tell that Sara was experiencing the same thing. He slowly moved towards her and suddenly their lips were softly touching in a tentative kiss. Nick wondered if he had misinterpreted the look in her eye as he felt her pull away and he was about to mutter an apology when he felt her lips pressing against his again.

Sara felt an intense fluttering sensation in her stomach as she felt Nick respond to her kiss, the intensity of it slowly building as his fingers tangled in her hair. As she felt his tongue slip past hers, she felt his free hand coming to rest on her hip.

It wasn't until this moment that Nick realized that he'd wanted Sara for nearly as long as he'd known her; he'd just never thought she'd want him as anything other than his friend but the feel of her kiss told him everything he wanted to know and he found himself gently rolling her onto her back as he continued kissing her.

The weight of his body pressing against hers and the sensation of his knee nudging its way in between her legs caused no alarm bells to go off in Sara's head. Everything in her wanted Nick and she found herself tugging at the t-shirt he'd worn to bed, finally pulling it over his head so she could freely touch the muscular planes of his chest.

As his shirt hit the floor, Nick renewed the kiss between them and slid a hand tentatively up the front of her pajama top, his fingers softly brushing against the bottom swell of her breast before his palm enveloped it tenderly.

Sara let out a soft moan into his mouth as she felt delicious sensations surging through her body at his touch and before long her shirt joined his as the slow sensuous exploration continued.

It wasn't long before they were tumbling over the edge into utter bliss, lying tangled in each others arms underneath Nick's comforter as the pleasure slowly ebbed away. Neither one of them was really thinking about how emotionally charged the atmosphere had been between them the last couple of days, or how that might have played into the timeline of what had just transpired between them, but as they drifted off to sleep, they both felt incredibly sated and satisfied.

It was only much later as Sara woke to find Nick still sleeping peacefully that she wondered if he really felt something for her, or if she'd just become a rebound for him in reaction to being dumped by Amy.


	10. Chapter 10

Sara lay there for a long few minutes watching Nick sleep before she decided to get up and clear her head a little. It wasn't that she didn't want what happened between her and Nick to happen, she did. She just wasn't sure that he really wanted it; that he really wanted her beyond that moment. Only a few days before he'd been perfectly happy with Amy and she was sure that he'd never given her even a passing thought in a romantic context before this. Not finding her pajamas anywhere and reasoning that they were probably lost somewhere in Nick's sheets, she plucked the button up shirt he'd worn the day before from where he'd discarded it on the top of his hamper and put it on.

Wandering into his kitchen she decided to make coffee for lack of anything better to do and as it brewed, she glanced around his decidedly masculine home and wondered to herself if she really had a place in his life that was more than just friendship. When he woke up, would he regret sleeping with her?

With a cup of coffee in hand, she walked over to the couch and tucked her legs underneath her as she rested her elbow against the arm. She savored the smell of the hot liquid and set the cup down as she let out a deep sigh and realized that she might have just made things worse for Nick in the long run. After all that he'd been through, she'd really screwed up everything by giving in to the lust that had been running through her mind. Nick had reacted like any normal red-blooded American male who had been through as much crap as he had. She was sure that if he didn't hate her now that he would eventually when he figured out what a mistake he'd made.

The thought that Nick could hate her at all caused her chin to start quivering as a wave of emotion hit her. Tears began to slip down her cheeks as she realized that losing him like this might possibly be worse than if she'd lost him when he'd been buried alive. She curled herself against the couch and tried to muffle her crying.

And that was how Nick found her. He had smelled the aroma of coffee wafting down the hallway and when he'd reached for her across the bed, he'd found that she'd already gotten up. Donning his boxers, he padded barefoot down the hall towards the kitchen planning on sneaking up on her and planting a kiss on her neck as he snaked his arms around her waist. That's when he noticed her sitting in the living room crying. With a furrowed brow, he approached her. "Hey, Sar?"

She glanced up a bit startled, quickly wiping away her tears, not having heard him get up. The last thing she had wanted was for him to see her crying when she wasn't sure how she would explain it. "Hey." There was a waver in her voice despite her best effort to the contrary.

Nick sank onto the couch next to her, reaching over and brushing a tear away with his thumb as he caressed her cheek. "What's wrong?" He sincerely hoped she wasn't having regrets; he certainly wasn't; he was wondering how in the hell he'd been so damn blind for nearly five years to not have seen what was right in front of him.

Sara tried to smile, but ended up crying again. "I'm sorry." She felt like a complete idiot and she was sure she looked like a mess with her hair all mussed up and her face blotchy from crying.

"You ok?" Nick wasn't sure he'd ever really seen her quite like this.

The tenderness in his voice melted Sara's resolve and she looked into his eyes. "Should we have done this?"

Nick felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. To think that he might have royally screwed up one of the best friendships he'd ever had, made him feel sick. "I pushed you to do something you didn't want, didn't I?" Nick's eyes dropped to the floor, his brow deeply furrowed in sadness that he'd not only ruined their friendship, but he'd forced himself on her and she'd given in out of pity for him.

The look on his face caused Sara to reach out and put her hand on his arm. She didn't want him thinking that she was an unwilling participant in what they'd done. "No...I wanted it, Nick; I wanted you." She paused for a moment as she considered how to say what was on her mind. "This is just so fast and you and Amy..." There was a catch in her voice as he looked up and caught her gaze.

Nick reached over and put a finger against her lips, shaking his head. "Listen to me, Sar...Amy aside...I want you...I want to be with you."

Sara looked at him doubtfully as she pulled his hand away. "I don't want to be a rebound, Nick."

"You are _not_ a rebound." Nick was earnest and he wasn't really sure how to convince her that what he was saying was true. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'll admit that if we're measuring time by when Amy dumped me...this _is_ fast. But if we're measuring time by when we first met and how long it's taken me to realize that I compare everyone I date to you...then I'd say we took things pretty damn slow."

Sara's eyes widened a bit as she took in his words. She wanted to believe him; she wanted desperately to believe him. She fingered the buttons on the front of the shirt she had on and furrowed her brow. "So you want to see each other then?" She looked up at him with a vulnerable expression.

Nick nodded and squeezed her hand again. "I do." A seed of doubt nagged at him that maybe she didn't. He knew that they were at a crossroads; they'd already slept with each other and if she didn't want him, then their friendship was probably irreparably damaged.

"Are you sure?" Sara felt nerves churning in her stomach. What if he changed his mind; what if a week from now he decided to take Amy back? She was nothing like all of the women that Nick had dated in the looks department, and she was feeling very unsure of herself.

Nick could sense her apprehension and her need for reassurance and so he scooted over on the couch and pulled her into his arms, letting her bury her head against his shoulder. "I'm sure, Sara, I'm sure." They just sat there like that for a long while holding onto each other, not really saying anything. Finally, Nick pulled away to look at her. "Look, I'll understand if you don't want to be with me, Sar...but I just want you to know that I really want to be with you."

A smile tugged at the corners of Sara's mouth as she began to get the fact that he seemed to be sincere, and she'd never known Nick to not be truthful with her. "I was just so afraid that when you woke up that you'd think you made a mistake..."

Nick shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. "That was most definitely _not_ a mistake." He arched his brows at her suggestively. "But if you think I need to be sure...we could..." He gestured towards the bedroom with a sexy grin.


	11. Chapter 11

They didn't make it off the couch. A single kiss turned into several, and when Nick realized that all Sara had on was his shirt, well, he felt compelled to show her how much he wanted to be with her right then and there. And he was still smiling about it when he walked into the lab that night. He was so lost in thought about Sara and how so much had changed between them over the last two days that he didn't notice someone standing at the reception area waiting for him.

"Nick." The tone of Amy's voice was apologetic and perhaps a bit desperate. It was evident by the expression on her face that she was going to try at least one more time to get him back.

Nick's face clouded as he stopped and turned toward her. Hurt flashed across his face and he regarded her with mistrust. "What are you doing here?"

"Nick...I..." Amy stepped tentatively towards him. "I don't think you understand about John." She obviously had something to say.

At the mention of John's name Nick narrowed his gaze at her. "You made your choice, Amy...I know what kind of guy John is...I've known him for a long time, don't forget that, and I know that he's been making moves on you ever since we started dating."

"Nothing happened." Amy protested stepping towards him. "He wanted it to...but nothing happened." She looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

"You expect me to believe that?" Nick looked at her incredulously, trying to keep his voice down so they didn't cause a scene in the lobby.

"Damn you, Nick. Why won't you even listen to me?" A tear slipped down Amy's cheek. "I made a mistake breaking up with you...a huge mistake, ok...but I did not sleep with John...I love you."

Nick felt as if he'd been hit in the gut. Here was the woman that until two days ago he'd thought he'd end up marrying telling him that what he'd assumed wasn't true and he wasn't sure what to believe. And now there was Sara to consider...there was something between them that he'd never experienced with any other woman and he wanted to explore it, wanted to see where it was going to go. He knew that if he didn't take this chance with Sara now that he would ruin their friendship and he'd never have her trust again.

"I love you." Amy was more earnest this time as she stepped towards him, taking the confusion on his face as a good sign. "I want you back." Her voice was barely a whisper as she closed the distance between them and gathered his face in her hands and leaned up to kiss him.

It took Nick a full second to process what was going on and that he didn't want her to kiss him, by then, Amy had slid her arms around his neck and by the time Nick gripped her arms to push her away, he finally found his words. "Amy..." He glanced up and saw that Sara had walked into the lab and was standing there with a hurt expression on her face. As soon as she locked eyes with him, she turned and headed down the hallway towards the locker room.

"Nicky." Amy cooed, hopeful that Nick would take her back.

"Stop." Nick's tone was probably too forceful and as confusion swirled around him he leveled a gaze at her that was full of hurt. "You need to leave." He turned in the direction that Sara had gone, hopeful that he could find her and that he could explain to her what had happened. She had been so worried that she'd become a rebound and if she was going to take the kiss between he and Amy in the lobby at face value, that's exactly how it looked.

He paused in the doorway of the locker room, noticing her standing there in front of her open locker with her jaw clenched in an effort to keep the tears that were threatening to fall from doing just that. Nick's voice was soft. "Sara."

She didn't say anything; she shoved something forcefully into her locker and tried to gather her thoughts.

"Sara." Nick took another step towards her, his brow furrowed in concern that she was jumping to conclusions. He reasoned that he'd better just get to the point. "She wanted to get back together."

"I'm sure you'll be very happy." There was a waver in Sara's voice and her tone was decidedly sarcastic.

Nick felt a flash of anger; not at Sara, but at Amy for making this conversation necessary, and for some reason at Sara's dad for not being the kind of man that would tell his daughter that she was beautiful and amazing. "I don't want her, Sar...I want you." His gaze softened and he could see the tension melting out of her body as his words sunk in.

"I'm sorry." Sara's eyes pleaded with his to understand her doubts and insecurities.

An impish smile flitted across Nick's face as he stepped towards her and reached out to caress her cheek. "I thought I made it clear earlier that I was damn sure that I wanted to be with you."

Sara felt her cheeks burn a little as she pursed her lips together remembering exactly how ardent Nick had been earlier and how that had made her feel. She smirked a little as she looked into his eyes. "Then maybe it was me that needed the convincing..."

"We could arrange that." He grinned at her, wishing that he could just take her back home and make love to her all over again. Instead he snaked his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her.

Sara melted against him and eagerly returned the kiss, basking in the feeling of being wanted by someone that she wanted to be with. They probably would have continued standing there trading deep slow kisses if Grissom hadn't walked in.

"Uh, Nick...Amy's in the lobby." Grissom was having difficulty processing that Nick and Sara were kissing, and that Sara seemed rather happy about the situation. The last Grissom had heard through Catherine and Greg, Nick was pretty upset about Amy breaking up with him.

Nick loosened his hold on Sara and looked at Grissom. "I know she is."

Grissom looked confused. "Does she know you're in here?" He glanced over at Sara trying to get some clue as to what was going on as she busily adjusted something in her locker before she closed the door.

"I don't know, but it doesn't really matter...I asked her to leave." Nick informed him letting out a frustrated sigh.

Grissom quirked an eyebrow at him as if informing him that he was going to need a little more information given the lip lock he'd found Nick just sharing with Sara.

"Uh, she wanted to get back together, but I didn't want to." Nick glanced over at Sara and grinned at her.

Grissom looked at Sara expectantly.

"Nick and I are seeing each other." She felt a flurry of nerves sharing that information with the man she'd fixated on for far too long, and she was pleasantly surprised to find that it felt as if a weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

Grissom gestured between the two younger CSIs with a curiously concerned expression on his face. "And you've been seeing each other how long?"


	12. Chapter 12

"Nick, don't get me wrong, you're like a brother to me...but what the hell are you thinking?" Warrick looked at Nick incredulously. He had just heard that Nick and Sara were suddenly seeing each other so soon after Nick had been dumped by Amy and he was immediately concerned that it was all a rebound and that Sara was going to get hurt.

Nick's hands were on his hips and he leveled a serious gaze at his friend. "I'm thinking that I care about Sara and that I want to be with her." He knew that Warrick had every right to be concerned, but Nick sincerely didn't think he needed to be.

"You just got dumped, bro." Warrick's jaw was jutting off to the side a little as he tried to reign in his frustration. He wanted to make it abundantly clear that dating Sara involved all of them and if he screwed it up, it would affect all of them.

"I'm fully aware of that." Nick clenched his jaw. "...you said it yourself, you never liked Amy..." He wasn't sure how to convey to Warrick that he had no intention of hurting Sara, that he'd had the opportunity to get back with Amy and he turned her down.

"You're right I didn't." Warrick decided to just lay it all out in the open. "Because she hit on me when she was dating you."

Nick looked shocked. "She what?" He had assumed that the reason Warrick hadn't liked her was because of some vibe he'd picked up, he'd never imagined that she'd hit on his best friend.

"You heard me." Warrick's expression softened. "I didn't want to say anything because you seemed to really like her...and I made it clear to her that if I ever heard of her doing anything like that again, that I'd tell you."

"You should have said something, man." Nick looked hurt that his best friend had kept something like that from him.

Warrick quirked an eyebrow at him. "And you would have listened." The tone in his voice was skeptical.

Nick let out a frustrated sigh and nodded. "You're right, I wouldn't have." He rubbed the back of his neck and furrowed his brow before turning towards Warrick and addressing the issue that had started the conversation. "Look, I know you think that Sara and I happened way too fast..."

"That's an understatement." Warrick interrupted him.

Nick ignored his comment. "But it's not really that fast when you consider how long we've known each other."

By the expression on Warrick's face, he clearly wasn't buying it. "You got dumped less than two days ago."

"So just because of that you think I'm not good enough for Sara." Nick was beginning to get irritated. Warrick was the third person that had given him the third degree about Sara. Grissom had pulled him into his office under the guise of the concerned supervisor after he'd walked in on he and Sara kissing in the locker room, and then Catherine had cornered him to let him know that if he needed someone to talk to that all of them were there for him...that perhaps his feelings for Sara were misguided. Now Warrick was calling him on the carpet about it and he was frustrated. None of them seemed to have picked up on the fact that Sara wanted to be with him, that he'd walked away from an opportunity to get back with Amy to be with Sara.

"I never said that." Warrick felt defensive. Sure he was concerned about the timing of things between his two friends, but he certainly didn't think Nick wasn't good enough for her.

"Well then what's the problem?" Nick stared him down. "It took me this long to realize that I've compared every woman I've dated to Sara since I met her...do you get that?"

"Look, Nick, I'm just looking out for Sara." Warrick stared back.

Neither of them had heard the woman in question approaching the garage where prior to the beginning of the conversation between the two men they had been working at processing a car related to a crime that the entire team was working on.

"I can look out for myself." Sara's tone was forceful and a bit irritated. It seemed that she had been subjected to the third degree herself throughout shift and she'd had enough.

Warrick knew that look on her face well enough to know that if he didn't immediately back off, he was going to be feeling the wrath of Sara. "Sorry." He let out a resigned sigh and looked over at Nick. "Sorry to both of you. You're right; your relationship is none of my business."

"Look I'm flattered by your concern...but I'm a big girl and I trust Nick." She looked at Warrick earnestly. "It's about time we all stopped looking at his life under a microscope...he's alive and he's allowed to have a life without everyone sticking their nose into it." Sara's tone wasn't malicious, it was just the truth; they'd all been far too protective of Nick and it was high time that they tried to get back to normal.

"You know, Rick, she actually wants to be with me too." Nick couldn't help but grin as he looked over at Sara. He was struck with how blind he'd been and wondered how in the world he could have overlooked someone as amazing as she was for as long as he had. The thought occurred to him that Grissom probably had something to do with that, but perhaps his own fear of rejection had something to do with it too.

Warrick pursed his lips together and then gave them both a knowing look. "Hey, I'll try and be happy for you...but if things don't work out...I don't want to be put in the middle of it." He gave Nick a pointed stare. "And if this turns out to just be a rebound...I'll kick your ass."

"You'll have to get in line, Warrick." Sara smirked. After what had happened earlier with Amy, she was becoming more and more confident that this thing between her and Nick was something that had promise.

"There will be no ass kicking here." Nick smirked. "Because as I very _carefully_ explained to Sara earlier, she is most definitely _not_ a rebound." At the thought of _how_ he'd explained it to her, he couldn't help but grin.

Sara on the other hand, felt a blush creeping over her face as she remembered the feel of Nick's leather sofa against her back and the touch of his skin against hers. She was certain that if he wanted to explain it to her all over again, she would definitely be up for it. She smiled back at him, but spoke to Warrick. "Yes, he was very clear."

Warrick stood there for a moment taking it all in and then crossed his arms over his chest and raised a single eyebrow in amusement as he realized that there was a little more going on that he was privy to. "Good, I'm glad that you're both _clear_. Now, if you don't mind, we need to get back to processing this car."


	13. Chapter 13

"You ok?" Sara asked as she gently kneaded Nick's shoulders. His muscles were extremely tense.

"Yeah." He winced a little as Sara hit a particularly tender spot. Between processing that car and getting what felt like an interrogation from just about everyone in the lab, he was strung rather tight.

"You don't seem ok." It was merely an observation and her tone reflected that fact. They were sitting on her couch watching a marathon of Bugs Bunny cartoons on TV and Sara was sitting with one leg up bent in front of her and the other resting on the floor. They both sat a little sideways on the couch as she massaged his back.

"I just think people are a little too concerned about you and I." He let out a deep sigh.

"I know what you mean..." Sara considered whether she should tell him about a few of the conversations she'd had during shift and then thought that maybe it was better if she just told him later. He was tense enough as it was.

"I mean of all the people that I would have expected to give me the third degree, my parents were actually the coolest about it...they never really liked Amy when they met her...but you left an impression on them." He smiled as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

Sara quirked an eyebrow. "An impression...I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." The fact that Nick's parents even knew they were seeing each other at all made her extremely nervous. Nick's mom had called him towards the end of his shift and he'd filled her in on what had transpired over the last few days. Ever since his ordeal it had become a bit of a ritual for her or his dad to call two or three times a week when they knew he'd be working and they were just starting their days to check up on him. Sara knew that Nick found it comforting to reconnect with his family at a deeper level, although she also knew that he was glad that they were in Texas and he was here; any closer and he said he'd feel like his mom would try and smother him with an over protectiveness that only a mother could have.

"Trust me, it's a good thing." He could sense her insecurity and was about to say something when he snorted out a laugh at what was on the TV screen. "I love this one." Bugs Bunny had just announced that he knew he should have turned left at Albuquerque as he popped up in the midst of a bull fighting ring.

Sara smirked and then snaked her arms around his waist. "You love them all." She closed her eyes as she leaned against his muscular back, her cheek against the fabric of his shirt, and let out a sigh.

Nick's hands came to rest over hers. "You ok?"

"I'm just tired, that's all." She answered him, not bothering to move. The feel of Nick breathing in and out gave Sara a feeling that she couldn't quite place and then she realized that it was overwhelming gratefulness that he was here like this with her; that he wanted to be with her.

"We could get some sleep." He had an impish tone in his voice that implied that he had more on his mind than just sleeping, but he wasn't going to push her if she just wanted to sleep.

Sara chuckled softly. "I suppose we could." She still made no move to release her hold on him. "Of course watching you watch cartoons is pretty entertaining..." She really didn't care what they did, she was just relishing in being close to Nick in a way she had never had the opportunity to before.

Nick turned to sit fully on the couch, pulling Sara against him as he did. This was a side of her that he'd never really seen before and he was finding it fascinating that she just wanted to sit there and hold him and just be held by him. There was something about the simplicity of this gesture that felt far more intimate to him than sex; it was both unsettling and comforting that he'd let someone in that close without really realizing it. The friendship that had grown between them for years had laid the groundwork for a romantic relationship that had roots far deeper than anything he'd had with any other woman.

They just sat there for a good long while, holding onto each other and watching cartoons. The questions and doubts from everyone else throughout their shift had just fueled a need for reassurance from each other and somehow just watching Bugs Bunny cartoons and laughing together did just that.

It wasn't until several hours later when Sara had changed into her pajamas and they were settling themselves into her bed that Nick felt that the whole situation was a bit ironic. It wasn't that he was awkward about being with Sara, it was that he'd had more than a few thoughts over the years about what it would be like to be with her in her bedroom; thoughts that he'd pushed away almost as soon as they'd come and now that he was here, it just felt so normal.

Sara turned towards him noticing the slightly odd expression on his face and she quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?" She felt a nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach that maybe he was having second thoughts about wanting to be with her, and then she reminded herself that they'd already had this conversation.

Nick looked over and smile. "It's just that I never thought I'd see the inside of your bedroom under these circumstances." He rolled onto his side and couldn't resist trailing his finger down the side of her cheek.

Sara's smile came unbidden to her face. "I see." She wasn't sure what he meant by that exactly, but she was going to take it at face value and live in the moment.

Nick's fingers were brushing an imaginary lock of hair off of her forehead. "Well under any circumstances really...well outside of the occasional fantasy..." He grinned as shock registered on Sara's face. "I'm just really glad that things ended up like this...that I ended up with you."

"Fantasy?" Sara was flattered and embarrassed all at the same time. She wasn't used to being the object of a man's desire, except perhaps Greg Sanders' and she really didn't think that counted.

Nick's hand came to rest on her hip and there was a husky tone to his voice when he spoke. "The real thing with you was far better than any fantasy I ever had about you, Sar."

Sara scooted closer to him, a smile on her face as she whispered. "And it was better than any fantasy I've ever had about you too." Her admission caused Nick to let out a deep chuckle which was muffled as he leaned over and began to nuzzle her neck. Sara let out a contented sigh as she felt his arm tighten around her waist and pull her closer. The feel of his lips against her skin made her feel slightly intoxicated, and as he finally sought out her mouth, she felt herself getting lost in the sensation of kissing Nick.

They lay there trading slow deep kisses, content to just hold onto each other until they edged towards sleep and were pulled into a deep peaceful slumber. It was the first time since his ordeal that Nick wasn't woken up by a nightmare.


	14. Chapter 14

The knock was insistent and it jolted Sara out of a deep sleep. As she became more alert, she extricated herself from Nick's arms, leaving him asleep as she padded to the front door of her apartment in her pajamas. She quickly glanced through the peephole before she unlocked and then opened the door to a very worried looking Warrick.

"Is Nick here?" Warrick had a strange look on his face and an urgency about him that Sara found entirely unsettling.

Sara nodded and opened the door to let Warrick in. "He's still sleeping, why?" She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she took in Warrick's demeanor. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him quite like this before.

Warrick wasn't sure he should tell Sara, but he'd spent the better part of the last four hours trying to track down Nick. Why he hadn't immediately assumed he was at Sara's was beyond him.

"Warrick, what is it?" Sara was worried now. Whatever reason that had brought Warrick to her door was obviously important enough for him to find Nick before shift started.

Warrick pursed his lips together and then swallowed hard before he answered her quietly. He didn't want Nick to overhear what he had to say, he needed to hear it firsthand, and he wasn't sure Sara should be the one to tell him. "I think you need to wake Nick up."

"You're scaring me...what's wrong?" Sara didn't want to wake Nick up, he'd had six solid hours of sleep and she didn't want to wake him up unless there was a damn good reason.

Warrick let out a resigned sigh. "It's Amy."

Sara looked at him in confusion; she knew Warrick didn't even like Amy so she couldn't understand why whatever he had to say was important enough to wake Nick up. "Amy?"

Warrick decided to just cut to the chase and he regarded Sara with a tender expression. "Amy committed suicide...she left a letter...she's blaming Nick." Warrick felt sick just repeating the information.

Sara was completely dumbfounded. "What?...How?...No...How could she?" She was shocked and angry all at the same time and she wasn't sure how in the hell she was going to tell Nick; she didn't _want_ to tell Nick.

"Sara, just wake him up." Warrick could sense how conflicted she was feeling; he was feeling it too, but at least he'd had time to let it sink in a little and he didn't have the same attachment to Nick that Sara did to deal with on top of this.

"Yeah." Her voice was wavering and strained and part of her wondered if all of this wasn't at least partly her fault. "Ok." She felt sick as she made her way back into her bedroom where just moments earlier had felt like a cocoon of safety for her and Nick. She crawled back onto the bed and reached out to gently touch Nick's face.

She tried to keep her voice as even as possible as she whispered. "Nick."

A smile spread across Nick's face at the sound of her voice and in a sleepy one of his own he drawled out slowly as he reached for her. "Hey, Sar." He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her, making love to her slowly and lounging in bed for a while longer until they had just enough time to barely get to work on time.

"Wake up." She couldn't hide the waver in her voice and even though she wanted to let herself get caught up in his touch, she knew that Warrick was waiting and Nick needed to know why he was there.

Nick was surprised when Sara pushed him away. His eyes snapped open, looking at her questioningly until he saw the look on her face. "Sar, what's wrong?" He was immediately worried at the way she looked at him so sadly and he reached out to touch her face only to have her envelope his hand in hers.

"Warrick's here." She just couldn't bring herself to be the one to tell him the news; and she knew that Warrick was prepared to do just that.

Nick's brow was deeply furrowed as he sat up in bed. "What's going on, Sara?" Something was obviously up and he felt a wave of fear surging over him. "Are my parents ok?" He knew that whatever it was judging from the look on Sara's face that it wasn't good.

"You're parents are fine." Sara felt her voice catch again. "Just go talk to Warrick, ok?" She wasn't sure how Nick was going to deal with this one; she wasn't sure how to deal with it herself. Part of her felt like if they had just waited a while to be together that perhaps Amy wouldn't have taken such a drastic step, that maybe things might have worked out between Amy and Nick, but then she wouldn't be with him at all. She wasn't sure how to feel.

"Ok, I'll go talk to him." He wasn't sure what was going on and when Sara didn't follow him out into the living room, he was even more worried.

Even Nick's sleep rumpled appearance in his boxers and t-shirt couldn't bring a smile or a quip to Warrick's serious face. Warrick just nodded in Nick's direction. "Hey."

Nick looked at him oddly. "Hey...what's going on, Rick...Sara wouldn't tell me..." His voice trailed off as he studied his friend.

Warrick just got to the point. "Nick, Amy...she...she killed herself." He felt sick at being the one to deliver this kind of news, and he knew by Nick's reaction as he sank down onto the couch that he was going to hate himself for telling Nick the rest.

"What?" Nick just looked at him in disbelief. He'd just seen Amy yesterday; sure she was upset, but suicide? He just couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry, I came here because she left a note and I didn't want you to walk into it when you got to work..." Warrick swallowed hard. He was pissed as hell that the letter had even been found, that Amy had blamed Nick for a choice that she'd made for herself.

Nick felt sick to his stomach, but he stared Warrick down. "What did the letter say, Rick?" Somehow he knew even without Warrick telling him, but as he heard the words he just lost it. He threw up on Sara's living room floor and began to cry. As much as she'd hurt him, Nick cared about Amy; he wondered if he hadn't refused to take her back if she would still be alive. He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Warrick just stood there unsure of what to do, and was thankful when a few moments later, Sara emerged from her bedroom and quietly made her way over to the couch and sat next to Nick, pulling him against her and just held him as he cried. When Sara looked up at him, Warrick felt as if he could see into her soul; could see the doubt and insecurity rearing its ugly head and he felt guilty that Sara had been pulled into this too and that he'd been a part of it. His friends really did deserve better than this and he felt horrible that he had to be the bearer of this kind of news.

Warrick's throat felt suddenly dry. "I'm gonna go and leave you two alone." He didn't wait for either one of them to say anything; he simply turned and walked towards Sara's door, closing it quietly behind him. He hadn't even told Nick and Sara the half of it; just enough so they'd know what they were walking into; Amy had been very clear in her letter about how overwhelmed she'd felt supporting Nick through his ordeal and just how his refusal to take her back was the straw that broke the camel's back, that she couldn't live without Nick in her life. Warrick just shook his head bitterly as he walked to his SUV; he hoped that Nick would never have to read that letter.


	15. Chapter 15

Nick had a stoic expression on his face as he walked into the lab that night. He felt like everyone was talking about him, the same way they had for most of the last month and he wasn't far off. It was something that he thought would fade after being buried alive, but news that his recently ex-girlfriend had committed suicide and the fact that his relationship with Sara had just become public fueled the rumor mills. He did his best to keep his composure as he made his way towards the locker room, his mind trying to focus on the lingering touches that he and Sara had shared just a short time ago. Those touches had quickly become intense and passionate and he'd made love to her on the couch both to quell some of his confusion and grief and to try and reassure her that he wanted her. They'd lain there for a while afterwards, tangled up in an afghan from the back of the couch whispering sweet nothings to each other and trying to block out for at least those few moments the turmoil the world around them was in.

Nick breathed a sigh of relief when he realized no one else was in the locker room. He and Sara had decided that it wasn't a particularly good idea to come in together; she wanted an opportunity to clean up the carpet a bit more thoroughly than she'd had the chance to, and knowing Sara, she also just wanted to spend a little time crying alone. He knew that this whole situation was difficult for her; that she had so many doubts about their relationship in light of Amy's suicide. The what ifs just seemed to assail them both, and they would just have to deal with them as they came.

Nick didn't hear someone else enter the locker room until he heard Grissom's voice. His head snapped up and he focused his eyes on his supervisor. "I'm sorry?" He hadn't really heard what Grissom had said.

Grissom looked at him with compassionate concern. "When you have a minute, Nicky, can you come to my office? I need to talk with you."

Normally a request like that might have made him a bit nervous, but Nick had gotten used to Grissom checking up on him over the last month and he'd grown to appreciate the pseudo father role that Grissom filled. "Yeah...I'm just stowing my gear."

Grissom nodded and then paused for a moment before he furrowed his brow and then pasted on a sort of sad smile. He turned and headed back down the hallway to his office.

One thing Nick was thankful for was that Grissom had somehow managed to convince Ecklie to put the nightshift team back together; he wasn't sure how he'd done it, but he knew why. As much as he appreciated Catherine's skill as a CSI and her concern as a friend, he had not enjoyed having her as a supervisor.

Nick let out a sigh and closed his locker door, squaring his shoulders with his jaw set as he headed to Grissom's office. He did his best to try and ignore the stares of the lab techs and the few dayshift CSIs still working their cases. He paused in Grissom's doorway. "Hey, Gris."

Grissom looked at him over the rim of his glasses and waved him in. "Come in and sit down for a minute." It was evident that Grissom hadn't gotten much sleep in the last 24 hours, and if the blanket tossed haphazardly across the arm of the sofa in the corner of his office was any indication, he'd probably not even gone home since last shift.

Nick took a seat across the desk from Grissom, trying to look as composed as possible, but inside feeling anything but. He waited for Grissom to say something; he really didn't see the need for small talk since he was pretty sure he knew why he was there.

"Nick, I'm sorry about your friend." Grissom had never really been good with people, but he did care about his nightshift and he was working at letting them know that.

Nick just nodded in acknowledgement trying to keep his emotions in check and not feeling like he was doing a very good job of it.

Grissom paused, not quite sure how to proceed.

"Warrick said she left a letter." Nick's voice wavered. As much as he didn't want to see the letter, there was a part of him that felt like he had to know what it said; to see if there _was_ anything that she could blame him for.

Grissom's eyes narrowed as he considered just how much this was hurting Nick; just how much hell he'd been through in just he last month alone. He nodded. "She did...but under the circumstances I'm not sure it's a good idea..."

"He said she blamed me." Nick looked like he was on the verge of tears. "I think I have a right to know what she said." He knew as a CSI that the decision wasn't really up to him; but from an emotional standpoint, he wasn't really thinking rationally.

"Nick..." Grissom carefully considered his words. "I know this is difficult, but there's evidence to consider."

It took a minute for Grissom's words to register in Nick's mind and he looked at him in disbelief. "What are you saying?"

"Nick, you know I can't disclose..." Grissom was walking a very fine line.

"To hell with protocol, what are you saying? Are you saying she didn't kill herself?" Nick's mind was swirling with reasons why this would make far more sense than if she'd taken her own life.

Grissom removed his glasses and rubbed his temple for a moment before looking at Nick again. "Her death isn't completely consistent with suicide, but it hasn't been ruled out either."

Nick nodded, his jaw clenched in anger that someone was responsible and if he had his way he'd make sure they spent the maximum time behind bars. Emotion washed over him again and his voice caught as he looked at Grissom. "How did she die?" That was one detail that Warrick hadn't shared with him, and now Nick wondered if that was on purpose.

"Nick, I can't really..." Grissom didn't have a chance to finish his sentence.

Catherine didn't even look up as she walked into Grissom's office. "Robbins just finished the preliminary autopsy report and the angle of the wound track isn't consistent with a self-inflicted gunshot wound." It didn't register who was sitting across from him until she'd let out a little too much information. Her eyes widened as she realized that Nick was the one sitting there. She locked eyes with Grissom before she reached over and put her hand on Nick's shoulder. "Nicky, I'm sorry."

Nick looked up at her blinking back tears. "You're talking about Amy aren't you?" At that moment all he wanted was to return to the safety of this morning before all of this had happened, when he and Sara were blissfully oblivious.

She nodded and then looked over at Grissom with pursed lips. "I'll just leave you two..."

"Catherine, stay." Grissom let out a heavy sigh and motioned for her to sit in the chair next to Nick. "Nicky may be able to give us information about her friends..."

Nick just nodded, letting out a sniffle. "Yeah, whatever you need...she was seeing this buddy of mine...not really a buddy anymore...he's the reason she dumped me." His laugh was bitter. All the hurt of the last few days just seemed to lump together and catch in his chest.

"We don't have to do this right now..." Catherine's motherly concern kicked in as she rubbed his back a little.

"No, we need to do this now...someone is responsible for this and we...you need to find them. She didn't deserve this." Nick was steeling his resolve. He might not be able to bring Amy back, and he couldn't change the events of the last few days, but he could do whatever was in his power to help see that she got justice.

"No one deserves that..." Catherine agreed.

Nick didn't want to lose it, but he felt damn close and even as his chin began to quiver he blinked the tears back and looked at Grissom. "I need to find Sara...just give me a few minutes...I just need Sara."


	16. Chapter 16

Nick found Sara just as she was walking into the lab. It took her a fraction of a second after seeing the look on his face to know that being there was just too much for him. She enveloped him in a hug and then led him back outside to her Denali which was parked a ways away from the door. They stood outside of it and Sara just held onto him, neither one of them saying anything for a very long time. Finally, Nick found his voice.

"She didn't kill herself." The tone of Nick's voice held anger and relief. Anger at the fact that someone else had made the choice for her and relief that there was no way he could blame himself for what had happened.

"What?" Sara pulled away and looked at him in confusion. She wasn't sure if he meant she was alive or if he was implying something else altogether.

Nick smiled at her, but his smile was filled with sadness. "She didn't take her own life, Sar...someone killed her..." He didn't want to say it, but he knew that this piece of information would allow Sara to let go of her self doubt and her second guessing. What he hadn't banked on was that it wouldn't allow her to let go of her guilt; that seemed to double.

"She was murdered?" Sara felt sick all over again. She had never really liked Amy, but she couldn't be happy that she was dead, so why was she relieved that it was murder? She felt as if her mind was twisting inward and that the ghost of her father was seeking out her soul for some kind of sick torture for feeling something akin to the relief she felt when her mother finally stopped her father's cycle of abuse permanently. Amy was nothing like her father, and she felt guilty as hell for feeling like this.

"Yeah..." Nick nodded taking note that Sara seemed to be withdrawing inwardly. "I haven't seen it yet...Grissom said it was evidence...but if she didn't kill herself...how could that letter Warrick mentioned be hers?"

"Yeah...good point." Sara felt numb. Normally she was able to kick into CSI mode and block out anything in her personal life. This time, her personal life was being affected by what was going on at CSI; Nick's ex-girlfriend was the hot case.

Nick furrowed his brow in concern and reached out to caress her cheek. "Sara, what's wrong?" He looked at her intently knowing that something was definitely going on in her mind, but unsure of how to reach her.

"Uh...I...I'm fine." She knew he wasn't going to buy it. She wasn't fine. Amy was dead, someone wanted it to look like suicide and she had a sinking feeling that Nick was in for another rollercoaster ride.

"Sara." Nick's tone clearly implied that he wasn't going to take her answer at face value. He knew her far better than that and this time he was going to push. He didn't want this to become a wedge between them, and he knew that it could very quickly if he let it.

Sara looked up at him ready to protest and then locked eyes with him. She let out a resigned sigh and felt her throat tightening a little. "I'm sorry she's dead...but part of me isn't and I feel like a horrible person for even thinking that." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I feel guilty for being jealous of her...for thinking that if she hadn't dumped you that we might not be together...that you might still be with her...that whoever killed her maybe wanted you to take her back...and I got in the way. If it wasn't for me she might still be alive." Sara choked out a sob as Nick just stood there processing what she'd just said.

Nick pulled her against him and held onto her, peppering kisses against her hair. "Sara, you aren't responsible for what happened to Amy and you're not responsible for what your mom did to your dad." For some reason his gut told him this had nothing to do with Amy and everything to do with her family.

Sara buried her face in his chest, melting against him as she let the tears flow. "I should have stopped her, but I didn't...I just wanted him to stop hurting us." She knew that it was irrational, that her mother had made her own choice, a choice that would continue to affect them for the rest of their lives.

"He can't hurt you anymore...but it's ok to love him, Sar." Nick just held her for a long time until she seemed to pull herself together.

As she stepped away, she let out an embarrassed laugh and wiped at her tears. "I'm sorry...the last few days have just been overwhelming. I just wish things could be normal."

"I know what you mean." Nick was tired. He wasn't sure he could just let things get back to normal. He wasn't even sure what normal was anymore. He reached over and caressed her cheek, leaning in to softly kiss her.

Sara stood up straight trying to shake off her emotions knowing that it was going to be a tough shift no matter what kind of case she ended up working. "I guess we should get inside...Grissom's going to wonder where we are."

Nick smiled at her tenderly. "I'm sure he'll understand..." His brow furrowed. "I need to give him and Catherine some information..."

Sara nodded. "Yeah..." She was suddenly exhausted.

"Hey, I'm here..." He wasn't sure how to reassure her, how to reassure himself really.

"I know." Sara leaned up and kissed him. "Let's just go in, ok?" She slid her hand into his and they walked back into the lab together, garnering more strength from each other than either one of them had alone.

By the time Nick made his way back to Grissom's office, he had pulled himself together and he was ready to give him any information he might have that would give them a solid lead to find Amy's killer. He really thought he'd known his friend John; thought he was the kind of guy that might steal your girl but not the kind of guy that would kill, now he wasn't sure. But there was one nagging question that didn't really line up with this theory. The why. There had to be a motive for trying to make it look like suicide and he just didn't see one. John would just move on to the next girl; he had no trouble leaving a string of broken hearts. Nick was convinced that while John was definitely a player he wasn't a killer. But at the moment, John was the only viable suspect besides Nick; and Nick had a solid verifiable alibi in Sara.

Nick was worn out; he didn't have the mental energy to focus on another case and because of how close he was to Amy's he couldn't work hers. He found himself just sitting on the bench in the locker room, his face in his hands as he considered where his life was going and just what he wanted. Everything seemed to be in upheaval and in the midst of it all he was trying to forge a romantic relationship with Sara and obstacles seemed to be everywhere. He felt a sudden urge to just get up and go home.

Halfway to his Denali, his cell phone rang at his belt. He pulled it off and glanced at the caller ID, a tired smile tugging at his lips as he answered the phone. "Hey, dad." He stopped in the middle of the parking lot, his head sagging as he let out a resigned sigh. "Actually, it's been a pretty crappy day...more like shitty really." He exhaled loudly. "I don't really feel like talking about it right now...I was just thinking that I wanted to go home."

As he listened to his father try and offer him words of encouragement, somehow knowing about what had happened to Amy; Nick reasoned that either Grissom or Catherine had called his parents to fill them in. Nick finally interrupted his dad. "Cisco...I just wanna come home for a while...is it ok if I come home?"


	17. Chapter 17

It wasn't until Nick was settling himself in the guest house at his parent's ranch that he realized that he probably should have told someone in Vegas where he was. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Grissom, knowing that he really should have asked for the time off before he'd left, but he was fairly certain that Grissom would understand. He just wasn't sure how much time he needed. He phoned Brass to let him know where he was in case he needed any more information on Amy's case. He left messages for Warrick and Catherine knowing that if he didn't, they'd worry until they'd heard from him. He was hesitant to call Sara. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her; he did. He was just unsure how she would take the fact that he'd just left without saying anything to her at all.

He let out a deep sigh and hit the speed dial for her cell phone. He was disappointed when her voicemail picked up.

"_This is Sara Sidle with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Please leave a message at the tone with your name and number and I'll call you back as soon as I can."_

"Hey, Sar, it's me...I just wanted to call you so you wouldn't worry...I decided that I needed some time off...I was talking to my dad earlier and he booked me a flight...I just got to Dallas...please call me, I need to hear your voice." He closed the phone and let out another deep sigh. As tired as he was, he wasn't sure he wanted to go to sleep, he was afraid of what kind of nightmares would be added to the ones he'd been having.

A soft tap sounded at the door, and as Nick glanced up, he smiled. "Hey, Mom."

Jillian Stokes stood there with a concerned expression on her face. Nick had been through so much and she wished that there had been something she could have done to save him from it. "How are you, Nicky?" She had been glad to hear that Nick was coming home, but she was also worried given the news about his ex-girlfriend.

"I'll be ok." The look on his face was somber. "I think I just needed a little time and distance away from Vegas...there's been a lot of water under the bridge."

"You sure you want to stay out here? I could make up your old room." She knew that he was facing demons and that he'd probably insist on facing them alone, but she wanted him to know that both she and his dad were there for him; would always be there for him.

Nick shook his head. "No, I'd rather stay out here." He wasn't about to tell her that staying in his childhood room where he'd been violated would just heap pain upon pain. He really didn't think he could ever tell his parents what had happened in there; it would hurt them too much that they hadn't been able to protect him.

"Your father and I were going to go out for dinner. Do you want to come with us...or we could just eat in." Jillian was trying to reach out to Nick in the only way she knew how.

"Truth is, Mom, I'm just really tired...if I get hungry I'll raid the fridge." He smiled at her at the familiarity of that situation. As a teenager, she'd told him many times that he was going to eat her out of house and home.

"Ok, well...if you need anything..." She left it opened ended and then walked over to where he sat on the couch and bent over, planting a kiss on his forehead before tousling his hair. "I'm glad my boy's home."

As she walked away, Nick called out to her. "I love you, Mom."

She smiled at him over her shoulder. "I love you too, Nicky."

Nick was left alone with his thoughts; it was the first time in a long time that he felt like he could just relax and not worry about who was talking about him or what might happen. After he'd heard his parents leave for dinner, he took a leisurely stroll around the property that he'd called home for his entire growing up years. The spacious house seemed too big now; seven kids all grown up and off living their own lives, coming by on holidays with kids of their own. But the memories in that house seemed to linger in the walls.

He wandered into the kitchen, pulling out a beer and then heading back out towards the guest house; sinking into a chair next to a table that sat in the covered outdoor kitchen. As he sipped his beer he wondered if he should try and call Sara again; he didn't want her thinking that he was abandoning her; his trip to Texas really had nothing to do with their relationship. If he'd thought about it, he would have asked her to come with him before he'd left.

Knowing her, she'd probably just throw herself into work until he got back; not that he was sure when that would be. He pulled himself up from the chair and wandered back into the guest house to look for his cell phone. He smiled when he saw that he had some missed calls. Two from Warrick, one from Catherine, a call from Greg, but strangely enough none from Sara. He frowned and this time dialed her home phone number.

The answering machine picked up on the third ring.

"_This is Sara, leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can."_

At the beep, Nick let out a sigh. "Hey, Sar, it's me...I miss you...I just wanted to talk to you...I left a message on your cell phone...I'm in Dallas and I'm taking some time off...I really want to talk to you."

He hung up, not sure if he sounded completely desperate or if she was going to overanalyze the fact that he'd said he wanted to talk to her. In his experience when you told a woman that you wanted to talk, she assumed that it meant that you wanted to break up with her. He really hoped that she called him back soon or he wasn't sure he was going to get any sleep.

He spent a while just flipping channels, getting lost in a Discovery Channel special on the migration pattern of the Arctic Tern before losing interest and flipping it some more. He finally decided to just give up and try and go to sleep. He'd been up the entire previous night, and he hadn't really slept on the plane; maybe in this over fatigued state he could fall into a dream free sleep and wake up somewhat refreshed.

He reasoned that if Sara hadn't called by now, she probably wasn't going to, and that thought made him sad. He truly hoped that him leaving hadn't planted a seed of doubt in her mind about where _they_ were at. He decided to call her one more time; maybe he'd catch her before shift started.

Again her voicemail picked up. There was a bit of a waver in Nick's voice as he spoke, but he tried to keep it as even as possible. "Hey, Sar, it's me...I'm not sure what to say really...I just wanted to hear your voice. I needed to get away from Vegas...not away from you..." He sniffled, emotion coming through in his voice. "I was hoping that I could talk to you before you started work...I'm just going to head to bed...I didn't sleep on the way down her..." He wiped away a tear that was threatening to fall. "I wish that I could hold you, Sar...give you a kiss goodnight...I'll talk to you soon...call me."

He set the cell phone down on the coffee table and buried his face in his hands in fatigue and frustration. After pulling himself together after a few moments, he got up off the couch and padded into the lone bedroom that the guest house had to offer. He quickly stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. After what seemed like an eternity of looking up at the ceiling fan, he finally drifted off into a restless sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Sara wondered to herself if she was making a huge mistake. Nick had called her three times at last count and she hadn't bothered to call him back. The way he had taken off without saying a word had thrown her for a loop. Thoughts drifted through her mind that maybe Nick had been more hung up on Amy than she'd first thought; that maybe despite the fact that he'd said he wanted to be with her, part of him wanted to be with Amy. There was a certain element of fear that she might never know for sure that he wanted her more than he had ever wanted Amy.

She'd gotten a phone call from Warrick; she hadn't bothered to answer that call either. He'd left a rambling message about how he was sorry he'd given her and Nick the third degree and how he knew this whole situation was probably tougher on her than she wanted to admit. He'd said that he wanted her to know that she could come to him anytime and talk; what with Nick having gone to Texas for who knows how long. The message had touched her; made her cry actually, but she wanted to keep her head clear and so she hadn't called him back.

The one phone call she did make was to Grissom. There were a few things that she needed to straighten out with him. The day that he'd found out about her relationship with Nick, he'd let her know not too subtly that he was worried that they were setting themselves up for a fall; and as a result the entire nightshift as well. She knew that he meant well, that he had a right to be concerned, but it was still her choice and Nick's choice and they were adults. That phone call had been difficult but necessary, and in the end Grissom had told her that he hadn't meant to be unsupportive; just that he cared about them both and he wanted what was best for them, and what was best for the team. For some reason, that left a smile on Sara's face. Grissom seemed to be incapable of separating the members of the team from the team as a whole, and she realized that it was because they were a family of sorts and that's how a family was. She'd spent most of her life wanting the family she had to change and in the end, she'd found a family in the most unexpected way.

Nerves churned in Sara's stomach as she considered whether she should call Nick. In his last message he'd mentioned that he was heading off to bed and she reasoned that he didn't need her waking him up if he'd actually gone to sleep. Besides, if she talked to him, talked to anyone really, she might not be brave enough to do what she had planned.

She was roused out of her thoughts by an overhead speaker.

"_We are on our final approach to Dallas/Fort Worth and will be landing shortly. Local time is 7:00am and our local weather is 85 degrees with an expected high of 101. Welcome to Dallas/Fort Worth and enjoy your stay."_

Sara let out a sigh and tightened her seatbelt. No one knew she was coming and she hoped that Nick's statement that she'd left an impression on his parents meant that she'd made a good impression, especially since she was going to show up on their doorstep unannounced. For some reason the swarm of butterflies in her stomach intensified and for the first time since she'd made the decision to take a little time off herself and follow him to Dallas, she felt like throwing up. She didn't know if he wanted to be alone, or if he'd be glad to see her.

Thankfully, deplaning didn't take very long and once she'd gotten her rental car she bought a map so she could find the Stokes' ranch. Grissom had provided her with the address and their phone number in case she got lost; and he'd told her that he was proud of her for taking such a risk. The unspoken message there was that he was too afraid to take that kind of risk himself and he admired her courage.

She was lost in thought until she was pulling up to the entrance to the ranch. She stopped and just stared at the house which was set fairly far back from the road. For some reason, she'd never really thought about what sort of house Nick had grown up in. He'd just been Nick and he had etched out a modest existence for himself in Vegas. The sprawling ranch house before her spoke of money and privilege and she suddenly felt as if she didn't belong in his world.

Squashing those thoughts, she turned the car into the long driveway and slowly made her way up to the house, noticing what appeared to be a small lake and a guest house behind the main house. She turned the engine off and took a deep breath before she garnered her courage to pull herself out of the car and head up to the front door.

She hadn't really expected anyone to answer the door right away; given the size of the property, she'd expected to have to knock a few times.

A surprised but smiling Jillian Stokes answered the door. "Sara."

Sara immediately fumbled with her words. "I'm sorry I came without calling first...I should have called..."

Jillian opened the door wide and gestured for her to come in. "Nonsense, you're always welcome...you helped find our boy...and he cares about you quite a bit from what I understand."

As Sara walked into the house, she felt her cheeks burn a little at Jillian's comment. Here she was in a part of Nick's life that she'd not been invited into and it felt a bit awkward. "I haven't had time to find a hotel yet...I just wanted to see Nick." Her brow was furrowed and it was evident that she was worried about him.

Jillian flashed Sara a smile that was so much like Nick. "You're not staying in any hotel, Sara. Give me your keys and I'll have Bill get your bags...I think Nick is still asleep...he's staying out in the guest house; I haven't seen him since last night anyway." She took Sara's keys and propelled her towards the back door. "It's just on the other side of the pool, dear."

Sara wasn't going to argue as much as she would have liked to. She just wanted to see Nick, to make sure he was ok; that they were ok. The functional yet elegant architecture of the house spilled out into the backyard where there was a pool and a covered out door kitchen ending in a small guest house. Sara strode purposefully towards it, softly opening the door and stepping inside. There was no sign of Nick in the main great room, but there was a small hall leading towards the back of the house and so she headed that direction assuming that's where the bedroom was.

The door was slightly ajar and she poked her head inside to find Nick asleep and sprawled out across the bed, not looking particularly peaceful. She slipped inside and made her way over to the bed, kicking her shoes off before softly sinking onto it and laying down next to him. She scooted over towards him and reached out to smooth out his brow, leaning in to softly kiss him before taking his hand in hers.

The sensation of her lips against his caused Nick's eyes to flutter open and he wondered for a moment if he was dreaming. His sleep laden voice was a bit raspy. "Sara?"

"Hey." She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him again.

"I was hoping you'd come...I wanted you to come, but I wasn't sure you would if I asked you to." He smiled at her, his expression tired and drawn.

She stroked his face gently, concern evident on her face. "Have you gotten any sleep?" She could tell that if had slept that it hadn't been very restful sleep.

"A little." Nick let out a sigh and then smiled at her. He couldn't even begin to express how happy he was to see her.

"Well I haven't had any." She snuggled closer to him, smiling as he slid an arm across her waist and looked into his eyes. "You said something in your message you left on my voicemail about kissing me goodnight."

"Yeah, I was kinda thinking that I should have done that before I left." He wanted to memorize every nuance of her face and have it burned into his memory.

"Well I'm here now." She smiled softly, the butterflies in her stomach finally quelled.

"Yeah, you are." Nick smiled at her and then gently leaned in and kissed her.


	19. Chapter 19

Nick had thought that maybe he'd dreamt that Sara had followed him to Dallas, but as his eyes slowly opened a smile spread across his face at the realization that it had been no dream. She lay there next to him, her eyelashes fanned out across her cheeks and a look of peace on her face. He wasn't sure how long they'd been sleeping, but he didn't really care. The only thing he really knew for sure right then was that Sara had strong enough feelings for him that she'd jumped on a plane and gone after him.

He couldn't resist scooting over and brushing his lips against her cheek, his fingers trailing down her shoulder, smoothing out the sleeve of her t-shirt that had bunched up while she was sleeping. The sight of her laying there had Nick feeling things that he wasn't sure he'd ever really felt before, and for a brief moment there was nothing else in the world besides him and Sara.

She began to stir at the sensation of his fingertips brushing against her arm and as her eyes fluttered open a smile spread across her face. "Hey."

"Hey." Nick smiled back and then leaned in and kissed her soft and slow, relishing in the feeling of her lips against his. There was no rush in their kiss, just a slow leisurely exploration of each other's mouths.

As they broke apart a few minutes later, Sara had an arm slung lazily across Nick's waist and she couldn't keep the smile off of her face as she looked into his eyes. "I could get used to that."

Nick chuckled softly and grinned back at her. "So could I." He just wanted to be there with her; no interruptions, no outside distractions; just he and Sara. He leaned in and kissed her again, intent on slowly showing her just how glad he was that she was there with him.

Sara just wanted to get lost in his kiss, wanted to show him that she was there and she was in no hurry to be anywhere else.

They might have both gotten their wish had it not been for Nick's dad coming into the guest house and calling out towards the bedroom. "Nicky, are you decent?"

Nick could tell from the tone of his voice that it was important and he knew his father well enough to know that he wouldn't barge in on him without a reason. He pulled away from Sara and gave her an apologetic smile before calling out to his dad. "Uh, just a second..." He let out a frustrated sigh and slipped out of bed, grabbing his t-shirt from where he'd tossed it after things between he and Sara had started to heat up.

Sara whispered to him, feeling rather self conscious in her semi-undressed state, even under the covers. "I'll just stay here."

Nick grinned at her and shook his head in amusement before he headed out into the great room of the guest house. He looked at his dad inquisitively. "What did you need, Cisco?"

"You and Sara gonna sleep the day away?" It was a question meant to tease and to put some semblance of small talk between them before Bill Stokes got to the point.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck a bit nervously. "We work nights...we're used to sleeping during the day...what's going on, dad?" He could tell from his father's expression that there was another reason that he'd come out to talk to him.

"Your boss, Dr. Grissom called. He needs to talk to you about the case." As much as he'd seen some horrendous things cross his court room, the fact that this case touched his son made it different.

Nick quirked an eyebrow. "Why didn't he call my cell phone?" Nick knew that if Grissom had called his parents' house that it must not only be important, but it meant that he needed to answer some more questions, and probably in short order.

"Said he tried." Bill Stokes let out a sigh. "Look, son, I've tried to keep my nose out of your love life..." He glanced in the direction of the bedroom. "Don't blow it with her...she reminds me of your mother." What he didn't say was regardless of the circumstances surrounding his breakup with Amy and her murder, he was glad that Nick wasn't with her; but he like many people didn't want to speak ill of the dead; it just seemed to be in poor taste.

"I'll keep that in mind." Nick wasn't about to put his cards on the table regarding Sara just yet. He was sure that his parents could tell far more than he was willing to volunteer, but he also wasn't completely sure what Sara was thinking and he didn't want to scare her off by letting things get too intense.

"You better call Dr. Grissom back...it sounded real important." Bill gestured towards the phone hanging on the wall in the small kitchen and then turned to leave, pausing by the door for a moment as he glanced back. "Oh, and I brought Sara's bags over so whenever you two decide to get decent we're gonna have a little supper over at the house."

"Thanks, dad." Nick acknowledged as he watched his dad walk out the door. He furrowed his brow as he searched around a bit for his cell phone, finally locating it stuck between two cushions on the couch. He flipped it open and noticed that he had several missed calls, all of them from Grissom. He punched in the speed dial and waited for an answer.

Grissom dismissed with formalities. "Nick, I need to ask a few more questions." His tone was a bit brusque, but it was most likely because he was running down a lead and he was trying to decipher data as it came in.

"Ok." Nick sank down onto the couch, suddenly tired again.

"When exactly did you and Amy consummate your relationship?" Grissom sounded all business.

Nick almost choked and he furrowed his brow as he considered all the reasons that Grissom might need that little tidbit of information. "Uh, about a couple of weeks before...before my ordeal."

"You mean your abduction." Grissom was just trying to clarify things.

"Uh, yeah...It was exactly two weeks before that...I remember because I took her out for a special dinner..." His words sort of trailed off. He felt a little strange talking about his sex life with Amy when Sara was in bed in the next room. "Hey, Gris, what are you getting at?" He had a pretty good idea, but he wanted to hear it from Grissom.

"Amy was pregnant." Grissom answered succinctly.

Nick felt bile rising up in the back of his throat and he couldn't quite bring himself to ask the question, but he forced himself to anyway. "Uh, am I?...How far?"

"You're not the father, Nick." Grissom's tone softened considerably as he finally realized that this probably wasn't the best way to be having this conversation. "She was about twelve weeks along according to Doc Robbins' preliminary report."

Nick felt a rush of relief. It wasn't that he never wanted to be a father, he was just thankful that the child Amy was carrying wasn't his, that he didn't have to grieve over losing a child he would never know. And it was also suddenly clear to him just why she was so desperate to get back together with him and the thought occurred to him that this little piece of information took the spotlight off of his former buddy John too. "Good. Great." He didn't sound all that convincing; the whole situation was just too damn sad.

"Nicky." Grissom's voice took on a fatherly tone. "Do you know who else she may have dated over the last few months?"

Nick only wished that he could give him the information he needed. "No, I don't...but you might try her friend Courtney. I don't know her last name, but I'm sure she would know."

"Nick." It was evident that Grissom had a bit of a smile on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Did Sara get there ok?" Grissom didn't sound overly concerned, just curious.

"Yeah, she did." A grin spread across Nick's face as the woman in question padded out of the bedroom looking much more clothed that he would have liked, a situation he planned on rectifying as soon as he got off the phone.


	20. Chapter 20

Sara only felt slightly awkward as she and Nick finally made an appearance in the main house about an hour and a half later. Nick had indeed helped her to pick up where they'd left off and then they had lain in bed for quite a while tangled in each others arms as Nick relayed the information that Grissom had given to him. Sara could tell that he felt a little weird talking to her about Amy in the afterglow of sex with her; but first and foremost she had always been Nick's friend and she didn't want him to feel like he couldn't talk to her about what was going on just because he was afraid that she might misinterpret it. She had reminded him with a bit of a smirk that she'd just flown there to see him without being invited and that it was a pretty safe bet that she wanted to be there. That had turned into a bit of a tickle fight and then a make out session that was well on its way to round number two when they decided that they didn't want to keep Nick's parents all day. After a quick shower, they headed towards the main house.

Nick held Sara's hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. They wandered in through the kitchen and finally found his parents sitting in the spacious family room lounging in adjoining leather armchairs; his father studying the latest copy of the Law Review and his mother flipping a family photo album. She glanced up and smiled at Nick and Sara as they came in the room.

It was Bill Stokes though that spoke first. "Nice to see you two finally decided to join the rest of the world." His voice was slightly gruff, but as he noticed a look of panic flash across Sara's face, he winked at her. "I'm all bark and no bite, Sara."

Sara chuckled a little self consciously and then smiled as she felt Nick give her hand a squeeze. She had stared down murder suspects during interrogation, but for some reason being there with Nick and his parents was far more intimidating to her. The warmth with which they had welcomed her though had helped to dissipate her initial fear that maybe she should have waited to be invited.

"I take after him." Nick looked perfectly serious.

Sara snorted out a laugh as she regarded him for a moment. "You hardly even bark." She knew that he could be tough as nails when needed, but she knew well enough to know that he would turn to a pile of mush given the right circumstances.

"Hey." Nick began to protest even as a grin spread across his face.

"She's right, honey." Jillian chimed in with a smile. "You always were my softie." She had such pride in the man that Nick had become, and she was glad he was home if even for a little while.

As Nick and Sara sank into the soft leather couch, Bill quirked an eyebrow Nick's direction. "Did you call Dr. Grissom back, son?" Part of him wondered how much Sara knew.

"Yes, sir." Nick replied, not really wanting to rehash all of the details, but knowing that his father the judge and his mother the former defense attorney would want just that.

"Good. Time is important in cases like this." Bill Stokes brow was deeply furrowed.

"I know." Nick hoped that he could somehow either make it through this conversation or steer it quickly in another direction.

Bill continued. "Is there any reason you can think of that anyone would want to kill that girl?" He knew that it was really bothering Nick and he thought that if they could get their minds into the case that perhaps Nick could let go of whatever part of Amy still had a hold on him.

Nick let out a sigh and glanced over at Sara before he responded to his father's question. "Well, Sara and I have been talking about that...apparently Amy was pregnant." At the shocked look on his parent's faces he held up his hand and shook his head. "According to the coroner's prelim she was pregnant before I started seeing her; she must have either found out just before then, or shortly afterwards."

Bill nodded in understanding; but Jillian looked a bit stricken.

Nick glanced at her in concern. "You ok, mom?"

She looked his direction and smiled, her eyes reflecting that she was still thinking about what she'd just heard. "Who was she dating before she met you, Nicky?"

"Don't know really...Grissom is checking with one of her friends." Nick rubbed the nape of his neck as he felt a bit of anxiety building. This was definitely going to be a nightmare-filled night if the conversation continued along this vein.

Sara locked eyes with Jillian and it seemed as if an understanding passed between them. Jillian spoke again. "I read an investigative piece in the..."

Before she could continue, Sara chimed in. "The Washington Post...I read it too."

"What article?" Nick looked a little confused as did Bill.

Jillian nodded at Sara and then continued. "It started out as a study on homicides committed against women, and they found out quite by accident that 60 percent of the women were either pregnant or had just given birth. They were murdered by a husband or a boyfriend."

"I'm sure Grissom is checking out every lead and running it against the evidence." Nick felt at a loss to do anything about Amy's case and right now all he wanted was to think about something else entirely.

"Interested in going to a Cowboys game on Sunday?" Bill interjected as he realized that Nick just might not want to have this conversation going into any more depth in front of Sara or Jillian.

Nick's grin seemed to appear instantly, relieved to have someone else change the subject. "Have you ever known me to turn down football?"

"What about you, Sara...you a football fan?" Bill inquired, hopeful that he could get an opportunity to get to know Sara a little bit better.

"Uh, truthfully, I don't really know much about it." She confessed with a smirk.

Jillian chimed in. "Well I'm sure that Nicky will do his best to get you interested in it." She set the photo album aside and gestured towards the kitchen as she stood up. "We were just going to have steaks for supper, nothing fancy really; Bill likes to use the grill outside when the weather's like this."

Sara hadn't considered that there was a reason that Nick loved a good cut of steak; in her mind at least, eating steak went hand in hand with being a Texan. She was about to say something when Nick addressed his mom.

"Actually, Sara's a vegetarian, Mom." Nick had a smile on his face as he spoke to his mother, and he caressed Sara's hand with this thumb.

"Oh, ok." Jillian's smile was genuine. "I'll just pull out some of those veggie burgers that your Aunt Gayle likes then." Her smile seemed to put Sara at ease, and Jillian made a mental note to see if she could spend some time alone with Sara while she was there to get to know her better.

Any reservations Sara had about being with Nick and his family disappeared over dinner as the conversation flowed easily around the table in the outdoor kitchen; stories of Nick's antics when he was younger flowed freely. Sara smiled, feeling completely at ease; there was just something about being here with Nick that felt like coming home.


	21. Chapter 21

The night sky seemed especially bright with no lights to distract from the stars. Nick and Sara were sitting on chaise lounges next to the pool talking softly in the darkness and looking at the stars. Nick's parents had gone to bed hours ago and having slept most of the day, neither Nick nor Sara was tired.

"I just keep wondering now if that's the reason she broke up with me...and the reason that she wanted to get back together." Nick had been mulling over the fact that Amy was pregnant in his mind and now he and Sara couldn't help but talk about the case.

"It's possible...it would explain a lot..." Sara was fighting her own insecurities about the situation, but her friendship with Nick and his reassurances that he wanted her even if he could go back and rewrite history kept her mind from going into a tailspin.

"The thing I don't get though is John..." Nick's words trailed off as his brow furrowed. "Keller can be a jerk sometimes, but even he wouldn't kill someone; he'd just as soon leave some poor girl with a broken heart and damn the consequences."

"Sounds like a winner." Sara's tone was sarcastic.

"Yeah." Nick let out a sigh.

Silenced descended over them for a few minutes until Sara's curiosity got the better of her. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Nick let out a laugh. "You should know by now, Sar, that you can ask me just about anything." He noticed that her expression was serious though and he reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Shoot."

A tiny smile played at her lips. "If John is such a bad guy...why are you friends with him?" She really didn't understand Nick's sense of loyalty at times.

"I guess it does seem strange...but I've known him a long time, met him my freshman year in college; we pledged the fraternity together...and I guess he's like a brother. He's the kind of guy that'll never judge you...and sometimes you just need someone like that in your life." Nick's voice was soft. "I know he didn't do it, Sara...it doesn't add up, none of it does."

"Well, we'll just have to trust Grissom and Cath to follow the evidence and let it speak for Amy...and her baby." Sara felt a pang of compassion for Amy. Despite all that had happened and the way she'd hurt Nick, Sara was beginning to understand her as each piece slid into place. She was sure that she hadn't been maliciously trying to hurt Nick; she probably just didn't want to burden him with another man's child; or she'd been confused and all that had happened to Nick had just sent her into overload in addition to all of the hormonal swings that came with pregnancy.

"Yeah." Nick looked sad. "I wish she had told me...I mean I know it wasn't mine, but..." He let his words trail off again as he realized the implications of what he was saying.

Sara squeezed his hand. "Hey, we can't change any of it...stop playing 'what if', ok?" Her smile was genuine. "I don't want to start feeling guilty again for being with you..."

"You don't have any reason to feel guilty...the whole situation is just so damn complicated, but just because you and I happened while this was happening doesn't mean that they're connected...they just are." He let out a frustrated sigh. "You know, I remember when I first met you and part of me was really excited because here was this beautiful woman who was smart as hell and part of me wasn't sure what to think about you because you were here to investigate Warrick; and then I realized that even though Warrick was one of my best friends, I really wanted to get to know you...Sometimes stuff just happens. No one could bring back Holly Gribbs, but you came to us indirectly because she died. The choices people make influence the direction our lives take and the people in it; you can't go back and change things, you can only go forward."

"You thought I was beautiful when you met me?" Sara was grinning at him; not just because of his confession, but because she knew that everything he was saying was true. You had to take the bad with the good and hope that you could turn it all into something beautiful; that's what life was all about.

Nick laughed at her. "You better believe that I did...why do you think I had so much fun flirting with you for almost five years?" He stood up and pulled her with him. "Let's go for a walk...I want to show you something."

They fell into an easy stride as Nick led her down towards the small lake that lay out behind the house, the brightness of the stars lighting the pathway that led to a small dock. Crickets chirped and the occasional frog croaked, and Sara thought it was a sound that she would always link to this moment.

"I used to come down here to think when I was younger." Nick settled himself down on the dock. "I supposed you could say that I pretended that I was fishing, but there really aren't a whole lot of fish in here on a good day."

Sara smiled and sat down beside him, crossing her legs and slipping her arm through his as she rested her cheek against his shoulder. "This is really peaceful."

"Sometimes you needed that with a houseful of sisters and an older brother that wasn't all that interested in hanging out with me since I was a good six years younger than him." Nick brushed his lips against Sara's forehead. "There are a lot of birds that come by here though. I guess that's where I got interested in them...not the Discovery Channel they way some people think." There was a teasing tone in his voice and he heard Sara giggle.

"You do watch a lot of TV, Nick..." She couldn't resist the opportunity to poke fun at the reputation he'd garnered that he learned everything he knew about birds from the Discovery Channel.

"Football, Sara...football." He smirked at her.

"Speaking of football..." Sara cleared her throat. "Uh, about this Cowboys thing on Sunday..."

"You don't want to go do you?" Nick had expected that Sara really wouldn't want to go, given her lack of interest in sports in general. A Cowboys home game would be an experience unto itself.

"I didn't say that." She snuggled up closer to him. "I just don't know much about football and I want to be prepared."

That comment made Nick laugh because it was a _very_ Sara-like comment. When they worked a case, she would delve into it and get to know everything there was to know about the victims and their hobbies if it meant that it would bring them closer to solving the case.

"I think you need to give me some insight into the finer points of football so that I don't embarrass you by cheering for the wrong thing." Sara wasn't sure she wanted to know that much about football, but knowing about football would help her to get to know Nick better, and that was something she was very interested in.

"So you want me to teach you then." Nick sounded a little smug.

"Fine, yes, I need you to teach me about football." Sara could tell he was up to something and she wasn't sure quite what.

"Well that could take time, so you'll have to be an attentive student." Nick's voice was slightly husky and he had a wealth of ideas just rolling through his mind about just how he could teach Sara the finer points of football.

Sara didn't quite pick up on his tone because she was focused on his last comment. "Since when have you ever known me to not be an attentive student?" She let out a yelp as Nick grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down with him to lie on the dock.

As he looked down at her from where he'd pinned her underneath him, he couldn't help but grin. "Now that was a tackle..." He leaned down to kiss her, mumbling against her lips. "And this is a little man to man...uh, woman coverage."


	22. Chapter 22

Nick was grinning from ear to ear as he and Sara made their way back up to the guest house from the lake. "I never knew you had it in you to be quite that daring." His tone was clearly one of admiration.

She smirked at him even as she brushed a dripping tendril of her hair off of her face. "It was your idea."

Nick snorted out a laugh. "Ok, maybe I initiated it, but you definitely took it to the next level." After he'd pinned her down and kissed her on the dock, things had quickly heated up between them.

"I didn't hear you complaining." Sara sounded smug. She knew that Nick had thoroughly enjoyed himself despite the splinter that he'd managed to get temporarily lodged in his tush.

"Oh, I'm not complaining...you just surprised me." He arched his brows suggestively at her. "And for the record...you can surprise me like that anytime."

"As long as you fish my bra out of the lake in the morning." In the heat of the moment, a few things had gotten knocked into the water and they had both gotten wet falling in when they'd tried to get them out. Being as dark as it was, despite the light from the moon and the stars, Sara's black lace bra had been a bit difficult to locate.

"You know, next time, we could just go skinny dipping on purpose..." Nick was only half kidding as he admired how her now damp clothes clung to her wet body.

Sara giggled and pulled at his hand to get him to stop for a moment so she could kiss him. She mumbled against his lips. "And what would your parents think?"

"I've never really much cared what they thought." He smiled at her as she pulled back. "Until recently that is."

"They love you...you know that don't you?" Sara had seen firsthand just what Nick's parents had been willing to give up and she knew that she'd never had that kind of love in her life.

"Yeah, I do." He pulled her into another kiss. "But I don't really feel like talking about them right now."

Once they'd gotten back to the guest house and hung their wet clothes up to dry, they shared a not so quick shower and then put on pajamas and snuggled together on the couch, sipping hot coffee as they searched for something on TV that would be worth watching, finally settling on the Cartoon Network.

Sara let out a yawn that didn't go unnoticed by Nick. "Did I tire you out?" His tone was rather pleased if he had.

Sara's lips curled up into a sly smile. "Maybe a little...but I'm not complaining."

Nick brushed a lock of damp hair off of Sara's face. "You know I never did ask you how long you were staying." He wasn't sure he wanted to know; she certainly wasn't going to put her life on hold for him, as it was, he wasn't sure when he was going to be ready to go back to Vegas.

"I'm not sure." She didn't know if she should tell him that she'd told Grissom she was planning on staying as long as Nick needed her; she certainly had enough vacation time saved up to stay for a while; but she also knew that she'd never been one to enjoy leisure for a long period of time and she'd want to be back at work before too long.

"How come you're not sure?" Nick didn't know how to take that; maybe she was only planning on staying a few days or maybe she wasn't sure how much he wanted her to be there, either way it gave him a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Sara swallowed and then looked into his eyes. "How long are you planning on staying?" They had known each other for a long time, that was true, but this romantic aspect of their relationship was new, and she didn't want to declare her undying love for him when she wasn't even sure how deep her feelings went, or how he was feeling, especially given all that had happened in the last week alone.

"I hadn't really thought about it to tell you the truth...I just knew I needed a break from Vegas and everything that was going on." He looked at her intently. "Look, I'm glad you're here; I really am, and truthfully, I'd love it if you'd stay as long as I do...but I'll understand if you can't..."

Sara felt the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile and she slid her arms around his waist as she leaned into him as they lounged on the couch. "I'm in no hurry to get back to Vegas...I want to be with you."

Nick looked at her curiously. "Just what did you tell Grissom when you left?"

Sara tried to keep the pink flush out of her cheeks as she rested her head against his shoulder. "That I had plenty of vacation to burn and that I thought you needed me."

There was something unspoken hanging heavily in the air. The fact that Sara had taken an unspecified length of time off to be with him, wasn't lost on Nick. His feelings for her were still being sorted out and he wasn't sure how deep they went, but he also knew that there was something about this thing between them that had all the earmarks of being something that just might be 'it'.

It occurred to Nick that she'd been focused on him, but he wasn't sure that she'd been thinking about what she needed. This whole thing with Amy being murdered and the conflicting feelings he was having about that couldn't be easy on Sara, and he furrowed his brow as he began to stroke her damp hair. "What do _you_ need, Sara?"

"What do you mean?" Sara wasn't sure how to answer his question; she had done her best to _not_ think about how she was feeling about everything. If she had thought through everything, she might not have taken the risky step of getting on a plane and flying to Dallas.

"I don't want this relationship between us to be all about me and what's been going on...it's got to be about you too...what do you want?" He appreciated her more than he could probably ever tell her; of everyone he knew she was the only one that really hadn't smothered him with concern; she had just been there and had been herself in the process.

Sara lifted her head and looked into his eyes. "You; I want you, Nick. I didn't want to admit it to myself for a long time, but after everything that's happened, life is just too damn short; I want to be with you."

"How much vacation time do you have left?" Nick's voice was soft.

"I think about seven weeks." She felt a flutter in the pit of her stomach as she realized how vulnerable she felt at that moment.

"Seven, huh?" Nick smiled at her.

Sara nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that we won't be here in Dallas that long." He grinned at her as he realized that whether either one of them wanted to admit it to the other that there was definitely something deeper going on between them.

"You think so?" Sara was concerned that he might want to return to Vegas too soon.

Nick chuckled softly and kissed her forehead. "Yeah...About a week or two is about all I can handle in one stretch here these days. I love my parents, but I need my own space." He didn't tell her that had considered taking a vacation somewhere else before returning to Vegas, but he reasoned that they had some time to talk about that.

"I understand." Sara smiled as she snuggled against him, content to just be with Nick.


	23. Chapter 23

Sara hadn't really thought Nick would have taken her suggestion quite this way, and now, she was seriously contemplating catching a red-eye flight out of Dallas to head back to Vegas. Part of her wanted to stay, but part of her was urging her to run; but either way, she wanted to be no where Nick at this particular moment. So here she was, pacing around the pool in the expanse between the guest house and the main house trying to decide what to do while Nick was storming around the guest house acting as if she'd just suggested that he killed Amy.

It wasn't until she felt a soft hand on her shoulder that Sara realized that she wasn't alone. She glanced up a bit startled to find a concerned looking Jillian Stokes smiling at her. "Come on into the house and have some coffee, Sara."

Sara just nodded and sniffled back tears that she hadn't really been aware that she'd been shedding. The kindness of Nick's mom was so much like her own mother was during those few happy moments that she could remember from her childhood. She had her arms wrapped around her body in a protective gesture as she followed Jillian into the house.

As they entered the kitchen Jillian walked over and pulled two coffee mugs out of the cupboard and poured fresh coffee into them. "You know, Nicky, can be a hothead sometimes, but he'll cool off."

Jillian's perceptiveness of the situation perplexed Sara but she gratefully accepted the cup from her hand and took a sip of coffee.

"He's been through more than his fair share and I don't really think he realizes that he doesn't have to be the strong one all the time." Jillian smiled at Sara. "He'll come around, hon."

Sara was glad that someone felt that way, because she honestly wasn't sure if Nick would. She had merely suggested that he might consider seeing a counselor to help deal with all that he'd been through and he'd nearly bitten her head off. Sara sniffled again.

"You want to talk about it?" Jillian liked Sara; she reminded her of herself when she was Sara's age and she knew that she was good for Nick.

"I don't know." Sara felt a weight beginning to lift at the offer. Somewhere deep inside, she knew she could trust Jillian. "There's just been so much...the last few days...I don't know."

Jillian smiled at Sara. "Maybe what you need, Sara, is a little time for yourself. The two of you seem a little intense." She raised her hand to silence Sara's immediate protest for a minute. "I like you; don't get me wrong, but a woman needs to take care of herself or she isn't any good to anyone else." She smiled. "If there's one thing I learned raising seven kids and having a career, it was making time for myself once in a while."

"Yeah." Sara considered Jillian's words and took another long sip of coffee. She didn't really feel compelled to tell her what she and Nick had argued about; that was between her and Nick; but she couldn't deny the wisdom in the older woman's words.

"Bill's out for the evening with a colleague. Why don't you let me take you out for dinner and you can tell me more about yourself." Jillian had a very welcoming smile.

Sara glanced down at what she was wearing and furrowed her brow. She wasn't completely sure that jeans and a peasant blouse were appropriate attire for wherever Jillian Stokes had in mind.

"Don't worry about what you're wearing; this is Dallas, hon." Amusement danced across her face. "You look fine."

"Ok, I'd like that." Sara smiled and for the first time since Nick had blown his temper, she felt at ease. Jillian was right; she did need time for herself and Nick could probably use the space. She knew him well enough to know that he'd probably be more willing to talk after he'd had a chance to spend some time alone.

Jillian's smile widened; it looked so much like Nick's. "Alright then, I'll get my purse and my keys."

It occurred to Sara that her purse was still out in the guesthouse and she felt incredibly awkward expecting Jillian to pick up the tab. She was about to say something, but Jillian was already out of the room. The sound of the back door opening startled her and she found herself looking at a still frustrated Nick.

Nick's eyes clouded; there was something about his demeanor that was still edgy, but there was also a waver in his voice as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Sara...I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Sara wasn't really sure what to say, but she knew that he was trying. "I didn't mean...I was only." She stopped talking when she saw him clench his jaw. She quickly changed the subject. "Your mom invited me out to dinner."

A flicker of something Sara couldn't quite identify crossed Nick's face. "Oh."

Just then, Jillian breezed back into the kitchen. "Nicky, I'm going to steal Sara for a little while for a ladies night out." She gave Nick a look that told him that she knew more than she was letting on.

"That's what she said." Nick wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or upset that he wasn't going to get the chance to talk things out with Sara until later.

"Why don't you give your brother a call; you haven't seen any family since you got here and people have been asking about you." Jillian had a look that could only be described as motherly and commanding all at once.

Nick let out a resigned sigh, seeing his brother might be good. "Ok, I'll call Mike." He wasn't sure that his brother the lawyer would be willing to drop whatever he was doing to see his little brother, but he'd give it a try anyway.

"Good." Jillian seemed pleased outwardly, even though inwardly she was concerned for Nick.

Sara watched all of this with interest, wondering if she and Nick could talk this out, hoping that she really wouldn't have to head back to Vegas and then regret it later. She smiled tentatively at Nick. "I'll see you later."

The look on Sara's face almost broke Nick's heart and he realized just how much his outburst at her suggestion had hurt her. His eyes pleaded with hers and he desperately wanted to pull her into a hug and let her know how much he cared about her; but instead he forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah."

Sara felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she turned to follow Jillian towards the front of the house. Her mind started swimming with a dozen possibilities when she felt Jillian's hand on her shoulder.

"He really does care about you, hon." Jillian had that look of someone who knew how the story ended. "Don't worry; he'll be ready to talk when you get back."

"I hope so." Sara breathed out softly.


	24. Chapter 24

As much as Nick looked like his mom, his brother Mike looked like their dad and as Sara walked into the guest house to find the pair sitting on the couch watching football and drinking beer with a nearly empty pizza box on the coffee table in front of them, she couldn't help but smile.

Nick's mouth was full of pizza as he looked up. "Hey, Sar." He felt a wave of nerves hit him as he studied her expression to see if he'd royally screwed things up or if she looked like she was willing to forgive him for acting like an ass.

"Hey." Her smile widened slightly showing a bit of the gap between her front teeth. She was more nervous that her body language showed, but she could tell from the way Nick looked that he'd had time to calm down and that quelled her fear a little.

Nick swallowed his pizza and chased it with a sip of his beer before coming to his feet and moving towards her, his eyes searching hers. He whispered softly as they stood inches from each other. "I'm sorry."

Sara nodded almost imperceptibly before Nick's lips softly brushed against hers.

"You gonna introduce me, little brother?" Mike Stokes had the same impish grin that graced Nick's face on a frequent basis and he was anxious to finally meet the woman that Nick had spent the last few hours talking about.

Nick grinned and turned towards his brother. "Mike, this is Sara." He turned towards Sara and smirked. "And Sar, this is my older brother Mike."

"Nice to meet you." Sara extended her hand to the younger version of Bill Stokes.

"I hear you've been hanging out with mom." Mike looked as if he was privy to an inside joke as he glanced over at Nick.

Sara felt a bit unsettled for a moment and then she put on the confidence that she used every day on the job and squared her shoulder as she face Mike. "Yes, and we had a good time."

Nick reached for Sara's hand, feeling his fears ease a little as he felt her give it a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad." He couldn't help but smile at her.

"It was very enlightening." Sara had a smug look on her face.

Mike laughed. "I like her, bro." He wasn't going to tell Sara that he'd been listening to Nick go on and on for the last couple of hours about how he was going to do whatever it took to make it up to Sara for acting like a jerk. Nick had never told him exactly what he'd done to be a jerk, but he'd known his brother long enough to know that he was capable of doing plenty of stupid things; he'd had him as an older brother to show him the way. And in the back of his mind, Mike Stokes was convinced that his brother was in love.

Nick glanced over at Mike and gave him a very pointed look. "Don't you have to be going?"

"Nick." Sara looked at him a little surprised that he was so quick to get his brother to go home.

"No, he's right, Sara. My wife Kelly would really like me to be home to help get our boys to bed; there's less bloodshed that way." Mike chuckled at Sara's reaction. "They're a bit of a handful."

Sara couldn't help but like Mike; he seemed to have the same down to earth demeanor that Nick had. "Well it was nice meeting you."

"You too." Mike gave Nick a pointed look before looking back at Sara. "You'll have to have Nick bring you by the house to meet Kelly and the boys."

"Ok." Sara wasn't really sure what to say; Nick might have completely different plans in mind and she wasn't sure she wanted to be scrutinized by his entire family.

"We'll talk about it and give Kelly a call." Nick interjected as Mike grabbed his keys and headed for the door. "You'd better stop in and see Mom before you take off."

Mike winked over his shoulder at the pair. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Nick just rolled his eyes and chuckled, glancing over at Sara as nerves surged through him once again; neither one of them saying anything for a long moment and then they both spoke at once.

"Sara, I'm sorry, I acted like an ass."

"Nick, I shouldn't have given you advice you didn't ask for."

Nick smiled at her. "No, this is my fault, Sar. I didn't even give you the chance to finish what you were trying to say."

Sara reached over and stroked his face with her fingertips. "I shouldn't have assumed that what helped me would help you too."

"I feel like a jerk." Nick let out a deep sigh and clenched his jaw as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at Sara. "In the back of my mind, I was thinking that Grissom had asked you to try and get me to agree to going to see one of the department shrinks...I know you better than that." His tone was laced with regret.

Sara looked hurt and her frustration came through in her tone. "Yes, you do know me better than that; I only suggested it because even though I didn't want to see a counselor, it ended up helping me more than I could possibly imagine." Her voice caught a little as she continued. "If nothing else, it helped me to forgive my parents for the hell I grew up in."

"I'm really sorry." Nick's voice wavered. He wasn't sure what else to say, and he hadn't even considered Sara's own experience when he'd yelled at her. If he'd felt like a jerk before, he felt like an even bigger one now.

"I know you are...I forgive you." Sara smiled at him as he seemed to relax a little. "I still think that you shouldn't write counseling off...but that's your decision, and you need to be the one to make it."

Nick looked at her quizzically as his nervousness subsided. "What did I do to deserve you?" He was completely serious. He felt like he was way out of his league with her, and part of him wondered how long it would take her to realize that.

Sara's lips twitched into an impish smile. "I don't know, what did you do?" She couldn't help but giggle as both of his eyebrows shot up in protest.

"Hey." Nick smirked at her.

Sara slid her arms around his neck and smiled as she felt his arms encircle her waist. "You know I love...you." She cleared her throat and stiffened a little bit as she realized it was too late to take her words back, the last one had been a whisper.

Nick was unable to keep the shocked grin off of his face and he whispered back. "You do huh?"

Sara nodded, grateful that he wasn't rejecting her, but feeling like she'd never been this exposed in her life. "Yeah, I do." She swallowed hard as she waited for him to say something, anything. Instead, she felt his lips pressing gently against hers in one of the sweetest kisses she'd ever had.

As Nick pulled away, his voice was thick with emotion. "I think I've loved you for a long time."


	25. Chapter 25

It was the sound of Sara's voice coming from the other room that pulled Nick from the verge of another nightmare. He'd fallen asleep on the couch after they'd spent several hours talking. The intensity of the tone of her voice roused Nick fully from sleep and he sat up rubbing his hand over his head as he tried to discern who she was talking to.

"I understand; no, I'll tell him. Thanks, Grissom." Sara was quiet for a long moment as she let the information she'd just heard sink in. She was so absorbed in thought that she didn't hear Nick walk into the bedroom.

"Was that Grissom you were just talking to?" He looked past her at the clock which showed that it was three in the morning and he wondered if Sara had called the lab, or if he had just slept through the phone ringing.

"Yeah, he had some news." Sara's lips twitched upwards into a smile, but there was a sadness around her eyes as she looked at Nick.

"Oh?" He hoped that she planned on telling him exactly what news that was; there was no other reason that Grissom would have news for Nick unless they had solved Amy's case somehow.

"They found the father of her baby." Sara could see Nick's demeanor sag a bit as he seemed to be trying to filter through who it might be. "Brass talked to Amy's friend Courtney and she told him that Amy had dated a guy named Brad for quite a while before she dated you."

Nick sank down onto the bed. "Brad." He tried to remember if he'd ever met the guy; he couldn't recall Amy mentioning an ex-boyfriend named Brad, but then again, he hadn't exactly been interested in hearing about other guys when he'd first met her either. Nick glanced up at Sara with a question in his eyes.

"He said he didn't know that she was pregnant." Sara was still processing what she'd been told, but this one had sent her spinning.

Nick looked at her quizzically. "Did he kill her?" If the father of her child didn't kill her, Nick was at a loss as to who would have the motive. None of it made any sense to him at all.

Sara shook her head. "No, he has a rock solid alibi; he was in LA until the day before yesterday and he'd been there for over a week."

"So we're back at square one then." Nick was frustrated. He felt that he needed to make sure that Amy got justice; that her unborn child did too.

"No, we're not." Sara had a smile of satisfaction on her face, and this time it reached her eyes.

"Huh?" Nick looked at her in confusion for a moment.

"The only person that Amy had told about her pregnancy was her friend Courtney." Sara continued watching as Nick let this little piece of information penetrate his mind. "And Courtney was dating Brad."

Nick's eyes widened. "Courtney killed her?" It made sense; she had motive, it would explain how the supposed suicide note knew all about Nick and his ordeal and how Amy must have felt about it.

"Yeah, she did...she was afraid that if Brad knew Amy was pregnant with his baby that he leave her for Amy." Sara reached for Nick's hand and whispered. "We got her, Nick. Courtney's going to jail."

_**Six Months Later:**_

It had taken several more weeks before Nick had been ready to head back to Vegas. He and Sara had lasted a little over a week in Dallas before he suggested to her that they take a little road trip back to Vegas; a road trip that had taken them north and east before they'd wrapped back down south and west back into Nevada. By the time they returned; Nick had decided that he was ready to see a counselor.

It had taken Nick a while before he was ready to visit Amy's grave; he'd been in Texas during her funeral, but after Courtney was convicted of Amy's murder, he felt he needed to say goodbye so that he could truly go forward.

There was a soft breeze blowing over the cemetery as he just stood there staring at Amy's headstone. There was just something about looking at the relatively short span of time between the dates of birth and death that just seemed so unfair and Nick found himself sniffling a bit. Amy was one of the lucky ones; her murderer had been brought to justice; but her life had been too short and it was just one more reminder to Nick that he needed to live his life in the moment and embrace it for all it was worth because all tomorrow had in it was promises.

The feel of Sara's hand sliding into his caused him to glance over and smile. Her voice was soft as she squeezed his hand. "You ready?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah." He paused for a moment as he looked over at her and a sense of awe washed over him that she actually wanted to be with him. "Thanks."

She smiled softly at him. "There's no need to thank me." A lot had changed in the past few months; she had been working less overtime and spending more of her off time with Nick; and it seemed that the scars from the past had begun to fade a little bit more into the background for both of them.

As they walked to the car hand in hand, Nick couldn't help but glance over at her and smile. He couldn't even begin to tell her how much she meant to him; how much the news that she'd shared with him just three days before meant to him. He stopped next to the car and pulled her into his arms, smiling as the gold from his wedding band caught the sunlight. "I love you, Sar."

"I love you too." Sara couldn't help but grin at him; if anyone had told her five years ago that she would have happily run off and married Nick just a month and a half after starting to date him she would have told them that they were crazy. But she was the one that was crazy; crazy in love with Nick and ecstatic that they had just found out that they were going to have a baby.

_**The End**_

**Author's Note:** Thank you to all of my readers for your patience towards me in getting this out. Real life has been nothing but crazy of late, so I count it a miracle that I was able to finish this at all.


End file.
